Here i am....

Here i am, gazing at the night time sky, while the country is fast asleep. Thinking,wondering. Of what tomorrow holds for me. Its been a while, since everything. been a while since i wrote down my thoughts. been a while since i sat down and enjoyed a cheesecake. been a while since i saw that smile. been a while since... _________________________________________________________________________________ Life in my new school after 8 months, Well, it has given me loads to remember. I have been involving myself in many competitions my course has to offer. From designing to business. To make a difference in our community's social background. I win some, lose some. All that matters are the experience. But, school was not all "a walk in the park" making enemies is in fact an inevitable factor in life. wherever you go, you are bound to cross paths with whom differ from your stand points. No matter consciously or sub-consciously, you WILL make foes. Though their intentions was to bring me down. They couldn't find the means to do so. Its because, i accept their criticism, and improve myself. The more they hate, the stronger i become. But, i keep my ego in check, so as to not make more enemies. __________________________________________________________________________________ I found that i could keep my temper down for a very long period of time. I came to realize this while reflecting upon myself after prayers in Masjid Al-Khair a few months back. There would be drama, everyday in school. But, i remain calm and collected. I became less talkative 4 months ago. Everyone was busy shooting down everyone. I took in comments and didn't take it personally. Infact, I learn't that, "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all". I lived by that everyday and opened my mouth only when needed. sure i have aquaintances to speak to. But, they are too busy chasing worldly pleasures to mind me and my thoughts. Thing is, all my peers have their "significant other". I am not discouraged by this knowing that i, alone, roam these structure of metal and concrete. It's time consuming enough having to worry about getting projects done on time, and competitions to tend to. Sometimes, i do envy their relationships, thinking how fortunate of them to feel compassion and affection in their daily life in school. Some of the couples even motivated each other in their work. __________________________________________________________________________________ You may say i easily make friends. You may assume that i have friends. Truth is, my personality, the type of person i am, use the term "friend" loosely. Everyone whom i met and smiled to are considered as "friends" Oh, how i miss my brothers back in the day. Year 2007-2011 How i miss the two ladies that were always with me. How i miss cracking jokes with them. being with them. How i miss the times when there were no worries. Just me,her,him,them.. ___________________________________________________________________________________ I may not be a very pious man.Nor have i drifted away from the light. However, every time i pray, their faces flash in my mind. There are too many things to say and ask for, but i hope and pray for Allah, to read my heart like an open book. To Grant them patience to persevere, strength to overcome fears,determination to break barriers etc.. May HE always, watch over them. We have all gone our separate ways, but i am sure, that our paths will soon reunite someday. Dear 'Arifah 'Aqilah, Davina Liu, Chin Zhao Wei, Abdussallihan, Ghafran, Choy Shi Peng, Randolph Aragon, Rahman Shah, Aqmal Abiden, Elena Rostam, Hanna Chin and Imran, i hope you are all safe and leading your lives the way you want to. ____________________________________________________________________________________ Its good to know that i still have the skills to write a long essay for just a blog post. Old habits die hard i guess. Im done with my reflection for the day i guess, Time check : 4.14 am in the morning. Physical status : Awake but not the least bit tired. Something is wrong with my bodyclock. oh well, time to get some shut eye before the sun rises. till next time, ___________________________________________________________________________________ - Awoosh 1444

Prioritising.

(NOTE : this will be a long post. the numbers below indicate the topics i will be going through in the paragraphs)
__________________________________________
| 1) My BOY-ISH cravings. |
| 2) Burning will of experiencing haji. |
| 3) What my Alma-mater Holds for me. |
| 4) Things i've done for the past month. |
| 5) Subject : 'Arifah 'Aqilah. |
| 6) Impacts of gaming. |
| 7) Plans for the week. |
| 8) My wierd reflection. |
__________________________________________

Just finished a long and meaningful talk with mom.

we discussed on different topics while she does her work in her room
and i have to say, it was one of the best talks i've had with her in a while..

its good to let off some steam and spill thoughts to mom.. feels great!

________________________________________

1) the talk started with me... Obsessed in getting an Xbox console for myself.. its a boy-ish cravings that we boys crave and such.. so, i consulted mom about it.. she says that its a waste of money and it doesnt benefit me in anyway. And that im too easily influenced of what people say or what media claims.. and that Xbox wastes time.. and that my hard-earned money could be put to better use and such..

im not influenced by anything to have it.. its just that.. i feel, all the things that i "need" i already have.. and its not wrong to get something for me.. a "WANT" for myself. thats my point of view..
_________________________________________


2) Then the topic of the 5 pillars of islam was linked together with the previous topic.

though we mainly focused on Haji/Umrah part. Mom told me that Haji was the last pillar of islam which is the last step of any muslim to complete before awaiting his/her time.
She explained the process of haji and umrah and what are the do's and don'ts.. prohibitions and such. this fanned the flames of determination for me to work hard and insyallah, have a chance to experience haji for myself.

_________________________________________


3) soon we found ourselves in another topic. Regarding my life in my upcoming school. the challenges i will face. my schedules that i will go through, the responsibilities i will be upholding in my new school.. we talked about cca and dragon boat. how my mom imagines me being darker than i am now.

_________________________________________


4) we then went to the topic on time management.. on how i've spent my last few weeks.. honestly speaking, since i've been "released" from work on 29th feb, it has only been a month(more or less) that i've been "free" in which, i have done whatever i've wanted to do.. from reunions, to impromptu meet-ups to last minute gatherings to watching movies and swimming and bowling and hanging out and surfing the net all day.. i've spent half my time on all those in the whole month.

the other half of the time, i've spent it with 'arifah(sending/picking her to/up school) which is voluntary by the way.. i want to be able to wake up and have something to look forward to in my day, and i guess the thing i look forward to is making sure she starts/ends her day on a good note. i really love seeing her smile every morning. seeing her little dimple forming on the side of her cheeks while she softly giggle in her heart to my jokes and friendly teasings never fail to start of my day on a great note, be it rain or shine.

_________________________________________


5) Speaking of 'arifah, we dwelled into the topic regarding her life. mom and i spent a good hour talking bout her ( dont worry, we didnt talk about anything bad. i assure you.) first, we talked about her studies. mom asks how is she coping with MI. i told her she's doing fine, though its a bit challenging. i told mom that i would provide support and such if 'arifah were to ask for assistance and i would always try to give her a hand. then we spoke about 'arifah's family. i talked about her brothers.. her sisters and her parents. i didnt say much as there's nothing much to be said, we talked about 'arifah's sibling's age differences and mom was abit suprised.. yeah, i know the feeling.

we then talked about 'arifah's characteristics, her behaviour. mom says that 'arifah has the same characteristics and behaviourial orders as herself. which come to think about it, it really is true in a way. lastly, mom and i talked about my whereabouts with 'arifah and how she has contributed into making me a better person. i told mom that no matter where we would go, we never fail to find a place to perform solat. be it at masjid's.. or even staircases in buildings. it then got me reflecting on how far i've come with 'arifah's help. alhamdulillah.

_______________________________________


6) we later got back to the topic about me getting an Xbox. on how this will affect the lil kiddos in the house. mehh.. i kinda agree on the points mom made... but still..... D: quite sad... hmmmm............

________________________________________


7) lastly, we talked about what i am gonna do for this week since i've got like.. only less than a week before school starts.. i told mom that i am literally bored out of my mind and that the phrase "dying of boredom" is already giving me a whole new meaning.. i dont have any motivation to start my day well anymore, i feel lonely already swimming and working out by myself. it just creeps into me and devours me from the inside out. the feeling overwhelms me. mom told me to travel around singapore this whole week. explore parts of singapore. and try to go to every masjid located on the island and do 2 rakaats there or perform zuhur/asar/maghrib if the time is right. hmm... that doesnt sound like a bad idea. :)

_________________________________________

8)after the 2 hours 45min talk, i went to my room and reflected while doing ishak. for some reason, while my head was touching the floor in total submission, i felt the pain of grief and deep sorrow in my chest. then i cried while half-way praying. when i finished, the sadness disappeared. im not sure why i cried. :S

hmmm... im very very very very bad at summarising, but i'd say this is one awesome chat i've had in a long time. :)

thanks mom<3


thats all for my ridiculously long winded post. i dont wanna drag your time reading anymore so,

Awoosh out! ^_^

(P.s. This is for reflection purpose only. items posted on this blog are just the author voicing out his deep thoughts and reflecting to past/future events.)

This post is for 'arifah

HI 'arifah!



(insert a picture of a cute baby panda that failed to be uploaded here after many attempts.)


=_=..




hahahaha!!

ok.... im.......done.

awoosh out ^_^

their eyes says everything

beautiful song <3

time to remind myself of my 14 quotes.

1) NEVER underestimate what a person can/cant do judging by his/her size/gender/strength/looks/behaviour.


2) RESPECT not only others but yourself too.


3) Do not only believe on what you see and hear. lies lie everywhere in this world of communication. these senses will not show you and guide you to the truth. but there is one that will, your heart.


4) FEAR is only a chimera. it plays tricks with your mind and you will think that you are unworthy or not strong enough to do something that you have to. FEAR is a restriction. let go of your fears. the only thing you must fear is not death..but god.


5) LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST.


6) scoldings are a part of life. one can take it two ways. 1) the person hates you and does it for the fun of it.so therefore i will hate this person back and be rebellious. or, 2) ouh, this person cares for me but is trying to put on a serious tone. i need to cooperate and show him/her that i will do it right the next time.i will take this as a learning point.


7) remember that life is too short to be living in regrets. if you do something bad..reflect on it and move on.. dont go back on the past coz its the past for a reason.if yesterday was the past..and today is a gift.. then tomoro is a present. remember that and keep moving forward.


8) Friends play a huge role in our lives besides our family members. they see us most of the time. take them as a brother/sister for life, is too difficult for any man/woman to walk alone. love them and they will love you back.


9) The reason why you are you is because god wanted you to be special in your own special way. many people are good in different things.. but you are better than them in something.. being YOURSELF


10) Time waits for no one. if you plan on wasting it, you are indeed a fool. but for those who cherish it and spends it wisely, will reap the fruits it sows.


11) As it states in the GOLDEN RULE, treat others the way you want to be treated. however,there's a second part to this which is, but if they take this for granted and dont treat you back the way you did. stop treating them so good. coz you are here to please yourself.and they most dont deserve you.


12) although something that was once yours is gone away for good and never coming back, do not drown yourself in sorrow and think all the negative thoughts..however smile because it was once yours.


13) one heartbreaking truth is worth to hear than a thousand lies. dont worry about how bad the truth is once you know what it is, you know what to do next rather than drowning your thought in worthless lies.


14) ALWAYS stay FAITHFUL. to your religion. your family. your friends. your soulmate. your work on earth.

all that i have to say..

there's a couple of things i'd like to get off my chest here.

a little poem from the top of my head.

for all my friends.

yeah.

at 1 am in the morning.

=\
i cant sleep! insomnia's kicking in!
_______________________________________


the first person that this poem's dedicated to,
is a friend whose constantly dragging me out from my blues
a tall friend, has a little bit of humour in every way
yeah i think you might know him, he's chin zhao wei.
for four years i've known him, he's the one im always with
we've been through thick and thin, regardless of width
he was my best friend, we were always helping each other
but now, i regard him nothingless as my own brother
yeah we do quarrel sometimes, we do have fights
but come to think of it, they wouldnt last till night.
and to this individual this poems dedicated to.
i'd just like to say thanks and may god bless you.

________________________________________


this one is for ghafran, the strangest soul yet
even though he's "different", i've never regret that we met
hah, i remember sec one orientation
we tickled each other, and weren't paying attention.
i remember the days when he's randomness would chime
i'll never forget it; the good old times.
he's a crazy fella, who paints himself in shades of blue
theres infinite possibilities as to what he can do
wierd reasons, random comments and all that
sometimes he can really be quite a brat
but there's one thing about him, no doubt
he's one of my brothers i wouldn't be here without.

________________________________________


there's this girl in this world
who took my life and gave it a whirl
she may be gullible, easy to fool
but she has a interesting personality, very cool
she's a laughing machine, giggling with all her might
without an umbrella im defenseless against her saliva that could take flight
always laughing at my jokes, regardless when or where
im glad she's a friend of mine, and is always there
dear davina liu,whom i dedicate this to
there's one more thing i'd like to tell you
you aren't "dude" enough to be my brother
but you are my only awesome sister from another mother.

________________________________________


in the times when my life turns dark and grey
i can count on these two to save the day
two individuals who help me up when i feel down
even turn my frown upside-down
though they might not have any super powers
their names are shipeng and randolph, my two other brothers
currently words cant describe how awesome they are
when fun is a round, they are not far
this poem is a tribute to them
both best friends and my best friends
im looking forward to hanging with you guys in the future
and make sure we get this all on pictures!

________________________________________


there's this one other girl who made my world and life such a blast
yes, this is the final person ; i left the best for last
her name doesn't start with any letters but with an apostrophe
she's the most caring and sweetest as sweet could be

words can't come close to describe her importance to me
the one who never fails to make me feel glee
she gives me the butterflies whenever i see her
she is one in a million ; an awesome dear

she's outgoing,zesty, caring and lovely times ten
she's always there to lend me a helping hand
in studies, about life, about religion she taught
i learned some valuable things which i knew not

we've been through tough times but still we stood strong
it is with you where my solace belong
my mind overflows with the memories of us
remembering on the time when we build on this thing called trust

i told you that life is not gonna be a bed of roses
its when we are furthest ; that's when our hearts come closest
i dont know what the future hold, allah has his plans ready for us
we need to prepare for things to unfold, and be ready to bite the dust

dear 'arifah 'aqilah, if you are reading this
i want you to know that your presence in my life is bliss
may our feelings continue blooming until time's end
you say you love me with all your heart, well, this is where i say i love you with all my heart too, my loving friend.

______________________________________________


its been a while since i touched on poetry
i dont think it's quite suiting me
maybe i'll stick to writing posts ages long
or maybe i'll just go make a song


this was a poem for all the closest friends i have that are dear to me
that i feel deserve recognition for the care they portrayed to me
im not good at language. im no writer.
but my passion is trying. to persevere.


awoosh out. ^_^

a tribute to a certain company.

a tribute to premier taxis
_____________________

from the left.

name : solihin
nickname : hin
personality : cool
favourite quote : ...


top middle.

name : halim (my uncle)
nickname : maman/halimah/halimamah
personality : random crazyness
favourite quote : (infinite)


right.

name : Ridzuan
nickname : wan
personality : collected/devious
favourite quote : (loads of sarcasm)


bottom middle.

unfortunately he left before i entered so didnt had the chance to meet him. =(

MOVING ON!

name : Idzwan
nickname : EWan/wan
personality : calm/jovial
favourite quote : kinky!/ who that?!
side note : wan really showed me the true meaning of the quote ; dont judge a book by its cover. reason being, when i first started working, i saw him as a typical mat rep. you know, hair touching the sky, piercings here and there, loads of bangles, smokes.. but he's personality really caught me by suprise! he looks gangster-ish but in actual fact, he's not! really the opposite!

name : desmond mak
nickname : mak
personality : on-the-ball (yet confused at times)/perverted
favourite quote : AH-MIAO!!/ hello?? WHO THAT?? / AIYAHH YOUU AHH..

from the right.


name : muhammad dustigeer
nickname : abang mat
personality : loner
favourite quote : amir, tuu abang dah belikan epok epok tuu
side note : though abg mat is very quiet in nature.. me and him do communicate quite often! maybe from our similarity of personality perhaps.. =)


on the left.

name : willam
nickname : mr williams
personality : perverted/ calm
favourite quote : mmm.. that girl hot!
side note : william is a cool guy, but he's much too open.. xD and when we talk, its always about girls.. xD

name : frankie
nickname : the reporter
personality : the "kecoh" type. always complaining/perverted
favourite quote : MACAM MAU MATII AH!/ (perverted stuff)
side note : frankie is your typical singaporean with a little twist of perverseness.but he's fun to conversate with especially during times of sheer boredom at work!

name : nigel james goh
nickname : james
personality : open/ outspoken/jovial/lazy/perverted
favourite quote : bro, kau gi mana makan nari? belikan aku?

from left.


name : nurasilah
nickname : kak silah/nenek/adek
personality : lively/loud/outspoken
favourite quote : AUUSSS! * LAUGHS LOUDLY*
side note : one of my lunch buds.. always happy go lucky, always irritating me. she doesn't talk. she roars. xD


right.


name : july
nickname : miss july
personality : soft spoken/ambitious
favourite quote : james! awak mahu makan apa? mee pok lagi?
side note : SHE SPEAKS MALAY DAMEE WELL! =O

name : raymond
personality : relaxed/heck-care attitude
favourite quote : that basket!

name : melvin ng
nickname : naga penyek (flat dragon)
personality : loud bark no bite.
favourite quote : PDI side..... amir! do(this that this that)
side note : this, is my boss.. =/ his nickname is solely given to the fact that he is very fierce but his face looks like a dragon but only that his face is flat.. thus the name.. xD

name : cat
nickname: ... cat??
personality : sleep all day
favourite quote : meow.
side note : this cat always greets me the first thing i come to work without fail. he's the first and the last thing i'll see at work. =DD





there are loads more people whom i would like to show but the fact is, i dont have pics of them. =/ ouhwell..




thank you for the opportunity to be working with a company.
it was really an eye-opener for me because it was really different from your average FnB work.
though it has been a very swift time, i'll cherish every single hour i had working with premier.
thanks again for completing my uncompleted months and giving me money so that i wont rely on my mom and to also pay for my own bills! =D


awoosh out!

haters gonna hate, bakers gonna bake. awoosh gonna study.

describing today in words.

1) WET
2) COLD
3) Headache
4) COLD(i know..i said it already.. but its sooooo COLD!)
5) merepek.
6) (negative words)
7) (positive words)
9) tired
10) sleepy



hmm.. im using the com to find out meanings about some new words i found while i was reading a book earlier today.

interesting..

expanding my vocabulary!
____________________________________


today was great! except for the hole in my 3 year old (dying) converse shoe i love soo much which constantly keeps filling up with rainwater.

when i got home and took off my shoe.. only god knows the things that were inside my shoe..

UGH!


and my foot look like a dead person's feet. sooo pale and wrinkly and cold and...lifeless..



speaking of lifeless.. just reactivated my fb account a few minutes ago.


and yes.. the only word to describe that "popular/ever-expanding" social network is 'dead'.

hmm.. lets see..


i look through everyone's profile..


most of them post about their problems.

hmm.. since when did facebook changed its name to RANTbook?

i mean.. its called a social network for you to socialise..

not to tell the world how much your life sucks etc etc..

=_=..

besides that, i realise how much of my life has been wasted through that.


i mean, why were handphones created? TO CONNECT TO PEOPLE.

why'd you need facebook for when you have handphone??


to chat with people? call them, easy.

private messege them? send them a text. done.

friend cameo?? VIDEO CALL THEM. =_=

games?? i think handphones have better games than 1000 games in facebook.

because facebook is free? WRONG. when you use facebook, you use it on your com. when you use your com, you use electricity, when you use electricity, you pay money. which is way way way way way way way more expensive than normal phone bills.


facebook goes mobile? why? waste memory space. and it defeats the purpose of a phone. =_=




after being without facebook for so long, i realize that.. actually, its just a waste of time. =/ not generalizing anything..

im just speaking with a free thought of my opinions.. other people may think otherwise, maybe they havent feel it yet. hmm.. we'll let time show facebook's fate.


newspaper articles say that facebook is losing users.. hmm.. im not suprised.


and again,

" ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED "
___________________________________________________



so, this is june the 30th.

which is known as the last day of the month.

so, as i've said, im going to use the com til the end of this month and will not be online till the end of the year and so, i will stay true to my words for myself.




no more blogging, no more youtubing, most certainly, no more facebooking.



from tomoro onwards, smart-core studying initiates. hard-core studying is not my way of studying.. smart-core is. <-- made up.


gonna start studying smart starting tomoro.



________________________________________


lastly, imma stopping work at the end of july.

so i can concentrate for two more solid months till it begins.


half the year is gone, time to put every ounce of effort for the next 3 more months..


believe. be strong. be faithful.


insyallah.



assalamua'laikum.


awoosh out

YOU... i remember you. the one who started my fear.

just a quick lil update on whats been going on today.


hmm.. as usual, daily same-old's, same-old's..

but,

i got a lil sick during the last few hours at work..

now, im running a fever and having a bad headache..

=/


ANYWHOOO..


while i was in the train returning home.. this girl entered.

when she looked at me,
the memories rushed in.

i remember..
i remember.. those piercing eyes.
i remember that look..
i remember her name.
i remember, her threats..
i remember, the wounds she caused with the bullets she shot through her mouth.
i remember, the insults.it still plays in my mind.
i remember, how long i tolerated her endless demoralizing speeches.
i remember, how insignificant i was to her.
i remember, how she treated me like dirt.
i remember, the tears she caused me to cry.
i remember, how she made me feel scared.
lastly, i remember, how she made me think girls were heartless monsters and have no mercy in the likes of people like me. my fear.

the stare she gave me in the mrt, i knew that she remembered the torment she gave me.
i know she remembers.


however, im done with the past.

i've let go of the past, im not afraid anymore. sec 1, thats where my life changed when i met a girl. not just any ordinary girl. a girl, who accepts what i am. who turned my life upside down and helped me conquer my fear just to get to know her.

now, she's always there for me. always there with a helping hand. im grateful.


this extraordinary girl whom have helped me,her name is 'arifah 'aqilah.

and i love her.



to the girl, i used to hate you in the past. but that was the past. i've learned to forgive, though i will never forget.



hmm, i guess you taught me something about life afterall.



awoosh out! time to rest... ZZZ




(hmm.. till now, i dont really know why she hated me so much.. =/ well, somethings are better left unknown. =) )





ooo... throbbing in my head... burning in my veins...

get well by tomoro awoosh... =_=..

jakarta/green lantern with das!! and a few words on the people i miss most.

DUM DUM DUM.....

it is SAT-TUHH-DAEY NAIHT!

and im back here on my blog to post about my did's for the past week or so..

time for an update!


______________________________________


so, recently, i've been to jakarta for a 4 day vacation from singapore..
so, i'll describe each day out of the four days in a few words then i'll explain.

day 1 -> mom angry.bad bad day in jakarta.
day 2 -> rides galore at jakarta's own replica of USS.
day 3 -> a drive through... ZOO??!
day 4 -> *breathes in* stooopitindonesiancustomsofficerholdingthefamilybackcausingustomissourflightandhadtowaitforanotheronejustbecausemymaidhadtocreateanewworkerspermitiftheywereemployedasdomesticworkersoverseas.

(lol.. yessah, made one full sentence seem like one word! hah! not bad uh!)

ok so, day 1, mom was really pissed, at me? NO WAY... at the young ones..(awoosh goodboy *angelic smile* )

apparently, they were making too much noise and mom was disorientated from the jet lag which in turn causes her to lose her cool. nice going kiddos.. =/


day two was... AWEE-*wait for it*-SOOOMMEEE!! i mean.. whats not awesome bout theme parks??
extreme rides pumping up the adrenaline.. wozzazz!! you should here what my adik sounds like on the ride.. xDD EPIC.


day three, OFF TO THE SAFARI WE GOO! was stuck in a heavy jam for two hours! the trip there totalled to about 4 hours! WOWZAZ! half of the journey was great!(yeah, only coz i slept..=/)
when we were there(at the zoo), i NEVER thought i'd see the day where you actually enter the animal enclosure..BY CAR. yes.. BY CAR! I WAS LIKE HOLY CRUMBCAKES!! THOSE ZEBRAS HAVE NICE MUSTACHES!! and those mascara on their eyes makes their eyelashes standout! SO LOONG! very very cool, and yeah, got to ride on an elephant, a camel and a horse! though my crotch has abit of problem with it.. =S


ANIWAESS.... day four! went shopping!(though i never bought anything..=/)
and yeah.. thats all for day four.. everything i wanna say about day 4 is already stated above.. ;D

ouh... i should mention about the time we went to the superhero street where all the shops have their own superhero. xD superman has his own shop..spider man too.. even macdonalds!(wait..he is a super hero..right?) and while walking down by the road.. some idiot in his car thought he could manouver his car and avoid the traffic by driving near the roadside where i was.. guess he didnt realise how big i was when the whole left side of his car hit me causing me to "fly" a meter to the front. lol, lucky for me, no serious injuries.. actually, nothing was broken.. nothing was bruised, no scratches.. no blueblacks no swelling.. NOTHING! alhamdulillah nothing serious happened.. but it did make quite a loud noise when we collided.. people behind me who saw it..their jaws drop coz after i got hit, i just shook my hand and kept on walking.. people infront of me turned to see what happened.. mom was shocked.. dad was abit frantic.. xD chey.. awoosh muscle seyh... tsk... i think walking down a superhero street gave me some super powers.. xD heee...

ok end of jakarta story.
_____________________________________


so, today, was bored at home.( AT 6 AM IN THE MORNING AFTER SUBUH PRAYERS. =_=)
felt like going out.. but didnt know what to do!
thinking about watching a movie but dont know what to watch!
thinking about who to invite but have no idea who!
then, i remembered, DAS!!!!

after i bumped into him a few weeks back, i made last minute plans with him for a movie!

woohooo!!


WATCHED MY FAVOURITE SUPERHERO IN ACTION!!! THE GREEEEENN LANTERN!!
SSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOLL!!!!

i mean the only words to describe it is just. WOW.

xD a must watch for all. even if you dont like the colour green or.. flying man in thights..or..flying man in green thights.. =/


hahaa!! but before the movie.. went to play some pool with das ;D well, i beat him 4-1 ! WOOH!
damn.. during the game.. screwed up loads and ended laughing our booties off at each others failed attempts to get the ball inside the hole! xD


after the movie, went window shopping for shoes. *drools* so..nice...xD

and lastly, had dinner at burger king.. NACHO WHOPPER IS DA BOMB! =DD

_____________________________________


hmm.. speaking of da.. i miss davina.. =((

hmm.. speaking of missing people.. i miss 'arifah..

speaking of missing people i love the most in this whole wide world, i miss.. their voices..

their sweet voices... from dada's extremely contagious though irritatingly excessively salivatious laughter, to 'arifah's innocent and cute yet sarcastic at times yet loving and caring and that "ouh awoosh is so merepek" look giggle..

i miss you ladies..
i miss you more than a child misses his teddy bear..
i miss you more than a teenage boy missing his black ops..
i miss you more than all of justin biebers songs can express,combined..
i miss you more than all the songs about missing people from all over the world from different languages no matter english,malay,chinese,hokkien,cantonese,french,pinoy,german,indian,tamil,punjabi,bollywood,hollywood,american idol put together!



(i know american idol isnt a national language.. =_=)



i wish i will be given a chance to see you again.

insyallah.


to my loving younger sister from the different mother, davina, i hope i can meet you soon and make you laugh like theres no tomoro and beat the record for the longest laughter ever while making you spit missiles of your salavation. <3


to my loving friend, my dear whom has showered me with great love, 'arifah, insyallah, we will again see each other and who know's? we could even start meeting again like we used to as usual on mondays and/or thursdays after your school and after my work! insyallah.. pray hard. and ask Allah for guidance. he will show you the way insyallah. <3



well then, this concludes my ridiculously long post for this week..

hmm.. looks like im getting comfortable with updating my blog with new content on saturday nights.. hmm.. maybe i will start from today onwards! =)

stay tuned for more "long as hell" and "merepek" posts from me!



phew...

my hands are tired.. =/


and im still typing... =_=


ok...awoosh... stop...typing..


NOW....


hm......


i dont wanna...


ouh wait.. yes i do..


xD


i've just wasted 14 seconds of my life by doing this..

and you've just wasted 20 seconds of your life reading this!


HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!


nice.

im sorry..


i'll go now.



awoosh out!


1444 <3

JAK-ARRR-TAAAAAAAHH!!

well, counting down to my flight...


its gonna be 5 more hours.

=))


im excited for this trip! maybe its coz it gives me time off from work and daily negativities.


its gonna be a good break. ^_^


hmm.. after i get back.. gonna start with renewing my singpass and getting started on registration for NS... =_=... such a bad timing seriously..


and.. yeah.. soo... its the holidays!

for.. 4 days only..

ahaha.. mehhh... 4 days pon jadi lah..

alhamdulillah..


hmm.. i've been off from facebook for about 2 weeks now... and i dont feel the urge to reactivate my account...


wierd..


guess i've rid fb out of my system! thats a good thing!..


now that i've finally gotten the "urge" to do maths questions...

AHAHAHA!! SOOO FUNNN!!!



ok.. so, hope this year will be the last of this madness.


gonna set things straight. and make things right. for a better future!


INSYALLAH!


then,maybe one day(insyallah), i will meet again with her.


dear loving friend, i hope you are doing well. =)


all the best for your upcoming endeavors!


we will meet up soon one day insyallah. ^_^




till then, take care alright?

^_^




hee..



well, seems like i wont be "leaving" the com until the end of this month... soo...


nahh.. wont be reactivating fb.. =/ maybe i'll just read through my old blog and see what i can remember.. ^_^



awoosh out!!



OFF TO JAKARTA!


WEEEEEE~~!!!

3 more days till jakarta trip!

yessah!


alhamdulillah! dapat juga getaway from singapore during the holiday...



cant wait for that! =DD




=))))



awoosh out!


wooo.. 14 days of no com.. =)..



yay... now.. lets try.. one month without com.. =DD



ready? GO!!!


awoosh out!

and it begins.

im off till end of the year.

no more messing around. no more distractions.no more wasting time.no more.no more.NO MORE.



im gonna set things straight.

i screwed up before, i wont screw up now.

everything's on the line.

too much is at stake.

i've spent the last couple of days preparing myself. mentally,physically and emotionally.

im done with all thats happened.

FULLSTOP.


O Allah, most gracious,most merciful, i pray for you to provide shelter for the ones i care for, from evil,from harm,from lies of this world.please shower them with your great tides of blessings and strengthen their hearts and soul so that they may continue to serve you with purity in their heart and mind. Ya Allah, give them strength to overcome any hardships they face while im away.i pray that you would provide them with everlasting sustenance and forgive them of their sins both past and future for you are most merciful,most forgiving. YA Allah! all praises to you for bringing these souls into my life. i am extremely grateful for these gifts. O YA Allah, the one i live for,the one i die for,lord of the 'alamin, please..please protect them.



Amin. Ya Rabb al-'Alamin.


assalamua'laikum.


awoosh is gone.

sacrifice.

"with sacrifice, one will learn patience."


yes.


my uncle once told me : " siapa yang hidup senang di dunia yang tidak ditimpa dengan apa apa masalah, adalah orang yang tidak mudah untuk masuk syurga. ini kerana Allah swt selalu menguji kita dengan menurunkan masalah masalah tersebut supaya dia boleh tahu berapa kuatkah keinginan kita sebagai hamba hambanya untuk menyembahNYA."



today, started off as hell.


i woke up with a fever and my head my pounding like mad.

i forced myself to the shower. and off to work.(forgetting to perform sembahyang subuh)


at work, i was sooo.. tired because last night i slept late. and my boss was complaining away..
i felt miserable due to my unwell condition and i was soo caught up with my status that i forgot to perform zohor.


then, the worst struck, i thought i already had suffered enough mental and physical torture. then she msged me, forcing in negativity into my chest. now im emotionally tortured too.


but then, something struck me. i told her it was alright and gave her a reassuring tone eventhough it was a dark time.

i put down my phone and went to perform asar.


during asar, for some reason, i cried all the way.


i literally cried my heart out during asar.


after asar, i sat in the prayer room and reflected upon my day.

i asked allah for guidance. i asked for him to strengthen my patience. to help me through my dark times. to brighten my heart.


right then and there, i felt a WHOLE LOT better.

alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah. alhamdulillah.


this was an eye opener for me today.

it shows that HE is most powerful.most forgiving.

______________________________________________________________


dear 'arifah,


i hope you are reading this. i have no idea what you are feeling now. but im pretty sure its extreme sadness. i felt it too dear. it kills me inside when you said that. i was at a lost for words. but i want you to know, what ever happens. she is your number one priority. you need to listen to her. dont worry bout me lah.. leave me for last.. im un-important.. family comes first. when she says do it, you do it ok? yeah, the pain inside my heart overwhelms me.. to hear that she.... yeah.. i really thought that she would approve of it when you msged me yesterday night.. i was very sure.. but there was this feeling in my gut that tells me.. sooner or later.. something was gonna happen.


'arifah, i want you to know that, no matter what gets thrown away, i assure you. i assure you that my love for you DOES NOT.


please dont give in to grief dear. please be strong.



like i said. dont worry about the price of the item or whatever not.

i...my family.. did it for you. with full sincerity.


=)




awoosh out!


i love you dear.

cmon memory... cmon...

its just not working...

i mean..

i've been sitting here for days..

going through a profile at a time on facebook..

why?? just to remember who that person is.. how did we meet.. where we met..when we met..and why did we meet..


=_=... macam mauu mattiiiii....


ramainya kawan!!


currently.. on friend number 146..


still have.... 1000+ more profiles to look through and regain my memory..


=/

this is just.......tooo slow...



after i told qin and teha about my memory loss..

i realised i've forgotten more than i realised... =/


memories...memories...



please... come back to mee..........





=(((((

being deaf.

im starting to feel what being deaf feels like.


your surroundings begin to fade as if the world as you know it goes mute.

im having a hard time getting use to my half my audio taken away from me..


maybe its because im an audio-oriented person..

i believe my life will be in agony if i were to be permanently deaf.

how can i listen to my favourite songs??

im gonna miss hearing azans... im gonna miss listening to surah's being recited.. im gonna miss the voices i live for.. the voices i love. my family's voices.. 'arifah's voice... my friends voices..

=((

but, if i were to go permanently deaf. only then will i know. who truely loves me. they will be the ones always on my side guiding me through this tough ordeal. if allah wishes to take this sense from me. let it be. im happy to give it away. coz, i've still got others to compensate for it. if i were to be deaf, i know. i know that allah wants the best for me. he doesnt want me to listen to all the lies of this world. he wants me to feel what is right from wrong.

allah tests me with obstacles and hardships.. not because he hates.. but its because he loves me and giving me the best of life. he tests me so that i may improve myself. to be a better muslim. a better slave for him. yes i may be deeply shattered by my hearing loss.. but he does things for a reason. so, i accept this.


=)


i just want to listen while my senses are still functioning.. it may not be totally clear.. but whatever im left with.. i'll use it to its fullest. =)


allahu a'lam..




awoosh out. =)

i bid my final farewells to the audio world.

lovely evening with dearest

YATTTAAAAAAAAAA!!!!



sooo happeh today! (apart from the exhaustion)

finally gave 'arifah the present...


and her facial expression...

she was shocked/suprised/terperanjat/(all the same lah!)

HAHAHA!!


she was out of words!

the moment i gave her the card...

she was like : =O!!!



hahaha... <3

then on the way home in the train she read it.. while i...listened and prayed that she liked it while hugging my bag tight and closing my eyes.. xDD


then i heard her giggle... <3


waduuuhh!! awesome awesome awesome!


aniwaes.. after that.. had a fun trip home...yes.. IN THE MRT.. xD



aniwaes.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRINCESS 'ARIFAH!


^_^

its not really that "big"


hehe..


awoosh out!

i love you!

DONE DONE DONE DONE!!! =DDD

YESSAAAHHHH!! finally completed 'arifah's birthday present! well.. atleast 1/2 of the present aniwaes...


HAHAHA!!

WOW! i feel soo proud of myself! xD

not bad uh?

but still... could improve..... ALOT MORE......


haha... gosh.. hope she likes it..


hahahahha!! WOWZAZ! LOOK AT THE TIME!! xD i thought it was around 10pm!

hahaha!! okok! im off!!



awoosh out!


please please please please.... <3 i hope she likes itt....

why put in soo much effort for something small?

hmm.. mom asked a very interesting question just now.

why are you putting in soo much effort for something insignificant? you are wasting alot of time on this you know? couldnt you just settle for something simpler?



well, i dont mean to argue.. but, i feel that, something small which i have dedicated my hardwork,sweat and a lil bit of blood into, is not just for the fun of it. it just gives me a sense of satisfaction with every little detail i do. yes, it may be small in a way, but it is way way way significant that you can ever imagine. if it wasnt.. i wouldnt be cracking my skull to get my lazy buttock doing this. i could've just do it the easy way. but no. i prefer this way coz it says alot of what i am. it shows my true motif. this is a piece of what i am in that piece of item you list as "insignificant".



i do it because i want to. not because i have to.



after this, mom gave me a sweet smile. (i dont know what it means)


hmm... guessed i poured everything out...

my scacrifices will not be in vain... i hope.



awoosh out! =)