Here i am....

Here i am, gazing at the night time sky, while the country is fast asleep. Thinking,wondering. Of what tomorrow holds for me. Its been a while, since everything. been a while since i wrote down my thoughts. been a while since i sat down and enjoyed a cheesecake. been a while since i saw that smile. been a while since... _________________________________________________________________________________ Life in my new school after 8 months, Well, it has given me loads to remember. I have been involving myself in many competitions my course has to offer. From designing to business. To make a difference in our community's social background. I win some, lose some. All that matters are the experience. But, school was not all "a walk in the park" making enemies is in fact an inevitable factor in life. wherever you go, you are bound to cross paths with whom differ from your stand points. No matter consciously or sub-consciously, you WILL make foes. Though their intentions was to bring me down. They couldn't find the means to do so. Its because, i accept their criticism, and improve myself. The more they hate, the stronger i become. But, i keep my ego in check, so as to not make more enemies. __________________________________________________________________________________ I found that i could keep my temper down for a very long period of time. I came to realize this while reflecting upon myself after prayers in Masjid Al-Khair a few months back. There would be drama, everyday in school. But, i remain calm and collected. I became less talkative 4 months ago. Everyone was busy shooting down everyone. I took in comments and didn't take it personally. Infact, I learn't that, "If you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all". I lived by that everyday and opened my mouth only when needed. sure i have aquaintances to speak to. But, they are too busy chasing worldly pleasures to mind me and my thoughts. Thing is, all my peers have their "significant other". I am not discouraged by this knowing that i, alone, roam these structure of metal and concrete. It's time consuming enough having to worry about getting projects done on time, and competitions to tend to. Sometimes, i do envy their relationships, thinking how fortunate of them to feel compassion and affection in their daily life in school. Some of the couples even motivated each other in their work. __________________________________________________________________________________ You may say i easily make friends. You may assume that i have friends. Truth is, my personality, the type of person i am, use the term "friend" loosely. Everyone whom i met and smiled to are considered as "friends" Oh, how i miss my brothers back in the day. Year 2007-2011 How i miss the two ladies that were always with me. How i miss cracking jokes with them. being with them. How i miss the times when there were no worries. Just me,her,him,them.. ___________________________________________________________________________________ I may not be a very pious man.Nor have i drifted away from the light. However, every time i pray, their faces flash in my mind. There are too many things to say and ask for, but i hope and pray for Allah, to read my heart like an open book. To Grant them patience to persevere, strength to overcome fears,determination to break barriers etc.. May HE always, watch over them. We have all gone our separate ways, but i am sure, that our paths will soon reunite someday. Dear 'Arifah 'Aqilah, Davina Liu, Chin Zhao Wei, Abdussallihan, Ghafran, Choy Shi Peng, Randolph Aragon, Rahman Shah, Aqmal Abiden, Elena Rostam, Hanna Chin and Imran, i hope you are all safe and leading your lives the way you want to. ____________________________________________________________________________________ Its good to know that i still have the skills to write a long essay for just a blog post. Old habits die hard i guess. Im done with my reflection for the day i guess, Time check : 4.14 am in the morning. Physical status : Awake but not the least bit tired. Something is wrong with my bodyclock. oh well, time to get some shut eye before the sun rises. till next time, ___________________________________________________________________________________ - Awoosh 1444