to you,

hey you, im sorry for the way i acted. im really sorry if i caused any discomfort..
especially to you, i didnt mean to make you feel guilty. its just that. i feel that my presence in school is un-noticed.i feel like im a lonely ghost.you dont talk to me.sometimes i even wonder do you still love me.coz,you act as if,i dont exist.it really bothers me coz,i dont have the feeling like the feeling when we were in 2007. i feel that i should be the one apologising.

i didnt want this..
i feel so sad now..
i hope i can talk with you soon..
i want to have that time again..
i want those times where it was just me and you walking together..
i want those times..
i want..
i want to..
i just want..

*sigh..

i just want to love you again..

about the 14 questions.
i felt that those were so irrelevant..

(insert your name), i hope/want you would/to still be my listening ear.you are the only one i could go to.no other could understand me better than you do.you've done so much in my life.im grateful to have you . i want to go to you.i would always come back to you. i'll never find nobody treating me the way you do.i'll never find nobody who could love me the way you do.i could never find another like you.you are my one and only.you are special. (insert your name), i'll still love you.no matter what,i still have these feelings in my heart.for you.i wanna change for the better.i trust you more than others.i still do.by meditating,reflecting and praying i have done.to get you in my life once more.i'll feel much more lonely if you leave.please dont.

i hope you still love me.

coz i still love you.

to that orange girl..i respect and care for..

awoosh out..

never again

what's going on in my mind..

whose the one being betrayed here?
whose the one is being left out here?
whose responsible for making me shatter?
whose the one who said you'll be there to listen?
whose the one whose always ignoring?
whose the one that is in pain?
who should i turn to now since you cant be trusted anymore?
how could i tell you?
what can i do to make you feel this pain i feel?
what have i done to deserve this torture?
are you my friend or just pretending?
where can i go to leave this pain behind?
how could i rid this feeling of pain,regret and sorrow?
do i love you anymore?

*sigh..
here's 14 questions for you to answer.

im utterly disappointed..

pain.

i dono who to turn to anymore..
the one that said "i'll be your listening ear"..
its all just lies..
the world's cruel..
hmph..

yeah.. lies..

ignore me..
pls just ignore me more..
i know you dont want to talk let alone look at me..
its no use being "friends" when you dont communicate..

heh..friends..what a funny term to describe you..
some friend..
i depended too much of u..

it was a mistake..
a very big mistake..
i wish i'd never told you..
i wish i would just shut my effin mouth..

but its too late now..
now i suffer..

it gives me a big

FML

*sigh..
this is the last straw..
i just cant take it anymore ok?

dammit..

im sorry zhao wei i had to leave early..i was meeting up with my family membs for something important..

sorry you had to take the shit..
i take the blame coz i didnt fulfill my duties as a leader..
strip me off my post..i dont deserve it..
i suck..
i forgot about the annoucement..
and i just..

you know what? im good for nothing seriously..

fmlfmlfmlfmlfml...

im shattered..

i feel that i've lost my friends..
whose to say i didnt have friends from the start..?

i feel like crying but those tears..
it dried up..

i just cant find any other ways to release this pain..
i just cant take it anymore..


sometimes i think..
why do i even have friends..

and are they my "real friends"?
*sigh..

u guys mean alot to me..
but..it just comes to a point where..
you people lost the friendship.

*scratches head..
*yawn..

hi guys!!! its 6 am in the moning!! woot!!!
just a post before going to school

ugh..still having this feeling in my head..
haish...
stupid headache..

for some of you who were thinking why i was acting weird these few days..
its becoz of cold nostalgia..

i havent got enough sleep..
and school is just me from inside out
yeah..
sounds painfull?
it is..

so.. im sorry to those peeps of mine who think im really in a bad mood..
i just need space..haha
headache terok gilerr ah..

so next tyme if u see me walk alone..it means two things..
im lonely and need company..
and
im having a headache and im reall cranky..(stay away)

haha..

ouh this is a messege to azilah..

hey look.. dont strain yourself too much ok?
when u said u actually coughed out blood my eyes popped out of their sockets..
i think u should just stay at home and rest..

and after you fainted at home..
u really need to get some rest..

and now you've got high fever..once again i say..

GO AND REST!!!

-_-

relax..calm ur mind..
go sleep..
and recover..

and dont come to school until u are fully healed
and i dont wanna see you wheezing and sniffing and coughing all over the place..

and after yesterday..
i went home straight and got some sleep..
and i felt rejuvinized..
somewhat revived..

i feel better..
hope i wont suffer from headache again..

haha..

away with stress!!


awoosh out!!!
(p.s go and rest azilah!)

my cruel actions.

im thinkin by now you'd probably hate my guts
after how i reacted just now.

i know..i dont blame you.
i was such a total jerk and a effin idiot.
i didnt mean to do this to you.
i just didnt mean to make you cry.

i know u probably think..my apologies are useless
and they can never cure the scar i left in your
heart by these actions of mine..
i know that i my actions are wrong.

and i want to sincerely apologise to you.

i am such an idiot for breakin what was precious
and priceless to me.

YOU..

nth in the whole world could replace those memories.
those golden times..
with you.

im sorry for makin u cry. i honestly didnt mean to.
guess my anger got the better of me..
i had no control of my actions.

so..i guess that the note u wrote in my diary..
is the last one you will write me.

i just couldnt forgive myself..
i just couldnt..
no words could explain how sorry i feel..

i have failed.

one last time before i go..

im sorry.

i love you.

awoosh out.

hey guys!!

WASSUP?!

haha..
1st of all i just wanna say that project high achievers is..
THE BOMB

i mean..it creates a big impact on me..
just a few days after a wake up call with
'arifah..

project high acheivers inspired me much much more!
i couldnt believe it!!
coach SABRINA and the other two coaches..
i wanna salute u for impacting my life with
ur knowledge and skills..

1 more day to go..
better make full use of the project..
haha..

ouh btw..
thanks 'arifah for the pinches..
i deserve it for being irritating and stuff like that..
i was just playin a fool ok?
haha..
chill sista..^_^

awoosh out!!!

awesome..

NYP wasnt a dissapointment after all!!
woots!! their digital media was so cool!!

yeah!!

that was the course for me.. nyeheh..
but i forgot to ask for the cut off point..

-_-.. wat a doo doo i am..

aniwaes..
____________________________________

to my two adek angkat, azilah and amierah,
i wanna say that..
you girls are not 13 anymore..
u've stepped into the year of the 14.
no more 13..
and.. i believe, u cant stay like wat u were
before..
now u guys are 14(unofficially)
but still 14 now..
u should be more matured..
not physically but im talking about mentally.
*sigh..
its just that..
im really disappointed with u guys..

im sorry but i believe..
its just too much..
how i should always be there to comfort u..
and listen to ur problems..
but sometimes..
the problems u are facing can be solved by urselves.

and sometimes the way u act..
its really quite ridiculous..
im sorry but im being very blunt here..
i dont intend to cut u guys deep but..
other ppl..they say that u are too much..
and they cant take it..
well, i agree to a certain extent coz..
i know u guys abit better than the others
but still..
yeah..reality is cold..

i wont go into details on what u did
but..
i just want u two to grow up..
and be more matured..

im sorry.

awoosh out..
change for the better u two..

H.O.M.E.W.O.R.K.

ugh..ok the last two days of school holidays
are THE most laziest days..

u wanna know why?
2 words..

HOME WORK.

i mean..enough said..
ugh..

i've been too distracted by my friends and computer
at home..
until i totally forgotten about it..
i was clearing up my cupboards today
and i stumbled on an english hmwk..
and i was like..

O_O..we had hmwk?!

shet..


so i quickly find all the work..

so far i only found :2 eng worksht
1 Amaths worksht
1 Emaths
2 physics
i know malay have but idk which pages to do!!!

-_-..big bummer..
im going to spend the whole day at the library..
seriously sia..

i cant take the distractions at home..
i need to go somewhere quiet..
i'll be leaving home at 12.30p.m..


awoosh out!

alright peeps!!

ok so..yesterday was the last of last year..
and i'd say i had a great day with friends..
well..
it was the last day of the year..
should end this year with a BOOM..

so..
at 5p.m
me,das and ridhuan
met farisah and her friends and her lil bro..
to have cheesecake..
hah!
like finally...

well..we had 3 types of cheesecakes..
OREO CHEESECAKE
CUPPACINO CHEESECAKE
NEW YORK CHEESECAKE

and they are so patheticly puny..
but ok lah..

the new york cheesecake betul betul cheese seyy!!
PEKAT GILS SAK!!

aniwaes..told mom i would be back after 12 coz celebrating "tahun baru kristian"
but then they wanted to go to khatib to celebrate
then my ezlink card pon da nak finish..

so..had no choice but to go back home lah..
-_-..

never mind lah..they celebrate at khatib,
i celebrate at katil..
yeah!!

5
4
3
2
1
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

ZZZZzzzzZZZZ
zZZ
zZ
Z
zZZZZz
ZZZZZ
zZZz
ZZZ


ok enough of this nonsense..

awoosh out!