dammit!! just dammit!!!
what the hell is wrong with me!!

i just cant seem to find a peace of mind anymore!
ppl are just bugging me with lame comments and stupid responses!!

Just S.T.F.U lah..
i've had enough bullsh#t for the past week..
cut me some slack will you?!

what have i done wrong to all of u resulting to this?
WTF is wrong with you ppl..
becoz of ppl like u..
i had to control my anger and stay silent..
and punch the wall every-single time i came home..

i just couldnt let my anger out on u ppl..
its called RESPECT..

i respect u guys so thats why i dont want to blow up but..

DONT YOU DARE LOSE THE RESPECT I HAVE FOR YOU..

its by those little things you do to me that makes me pissed.
juniors..i know you guys dont know me that well as compared to the seniors..

i hate being push around.i definately dont like being treated like sh#t.
when i want to move.i move. its not your job to make my decisions
DONT YOU DARE TRY TO MOVE ME AGAIN..

im really sorry i had to post this but..i really cant stand it anymore.
you ppl are adding stress to the enormus chunk of stress im already facing.
exams..

*sigh..
dammit..

today,
i dont know why but as the days go by..
i start losing control of my anger..
im enraged by something but,i dont know what is it that makes me
sorta agitated..

so yeah im pretty pissed off over something but its like being pissed off for nothing.

so, as for those who dont know me well enough..i hurt myself when i am angry.
either mentally or physically.
punching walls was getting old so..now i've started to do mace work instead..
its much more fun than breaking your own knuckles..
and besides..its more painful..especially if u catch it wrongly
double flip does the work pretty nicely..
me likey the feelin of pain..
it soothes me..somehow..

i know u think im a psycho freak who loves to hurt myself but its just how i deal with my probs..
different ppl have different approaches to solve their problems..
its just that..mine's abit painful..

awoosh out..
so the outcome of wat i did leads to the destruction of the mace and blue-black marks and swelling on my hand.

so yesterday was the first day of raya and seriously seyy..
the hari raya mood..
its gone..
i dont kno y but it feels very dull this year.

aniwaes..yesterday i seek forgiveness..
and u wanna kno wat happened?
i ended up giving a speech..
OMG!!
aniwaes..i think my speech was like so uber touching that..MOM CRIED!!!
i saw tears in dad's eyes!!
aahh!! wow! i hope thats happy tears..
so basically i said that im sorry for the times i made them feel disheartened for the actions i did. they were the best parents in the whole wide world.they have thought me well. thank you for guiding me to where i am today.

blah blah blah continues the speech...

and yeah..
wiped the tears off my mom's cheeck, told her i loved her and kissed her cheek.

well..kinda touching i guess

haha.. i love them so muchies!!

To: Faisal Bin Mohd Isa and Siti Faridah Bte Omar.
i love u!
and thank you

awoosh out!