strength

you dont have to have big bulky muscles to be strong.

all you have to have, is a strong heart and a strong will.
that will always get you far in life.

its not about who is stronger in life. its about who is tougher to pursue when against all odds.

control the mind.control yourself.

that is what makes us powerful.

to dream.to soar to new heights.
thats what we humans are made for.

awoosh out.

sooner or later..

hmm..

bali..

well..
thanks to today..

im not anymore excited about bali..

its just..the mood just disappeared..

*sigh..

sadness aside..

WEEE!!!

few more days..
few more days left WOOTT!!!
ughh..
1..
2..
ugh..
what come after 2?
O_O..
ughh..
4 more days till i woosh off to bali!!

bali..balli..balliii..bal-e..bal..ihh..BALI..barli?barley!!! =D

ok lame..uhh..

im totally excited bout it..

ouh yeah..

last overseas trip for the year..

its gonna be fun !!..(i hope)

okok..

so gonna start packin tomoro..
and hope it goes well.=D

________________________________

ouh and about ur book 'arifah..
2 more chapters..
=D
thanks again for lending it to me..
very inspiring..and meaningful..

and yeah..sad sad mood + me = one dull dude..

haish..

aniwaes!!

WEEE~!!!

BARLEY!!! WOOTT!!

awoosh out!!

AIRPLANE, HERE I COME!!

or was it aeroplane?
O_O..

ponder..

uhh..

so moody..
the clouds are not helping..

they loom over me just raining down pain and hate and drenching me in sorrow..

i feel..
disappointed,angry,useless,sad,confused and puzzled..
what a wrong mixture of feelings..

people around me are so negative..
in the end..
im the one getting influenced by them..

so moody..

uhh..

nightmares every night dont seem to soothe my grief and sorrow..
it contributes to my sane suffering..
im left alone to fend for myself..
my friends are....

*sigh..

so far apart..

back to primary school eh?
to the old times..

suffer alone..

no one cares who i am..

im not outstanding..

im not special at all..

im just..indifferent..

i just cant escape this pain..

even when im happy..there is still sorrow lingering around my aura..
all i can do is fake my feelings behind a facade..

i feel useless..
i look useless..

well..
i guess that i am useless..

this is another depression session?
no..
its just my reflection of who i really think i am..

im not emo..nor am i egoistical..

i dont fit in neither categories..

im just..

*sigh..

i dont have a dream anymore..
all i have is..nightmares..

awoosh out..

im off from the cyber world..

well..

i dont wanna "live" in the cyber world..
especially in this time of my life..

i feel that..

this is all just a waste of my time..
when i could be spending this time doing something..
beneficial..
well..

i cant say that the cyber world aint useful..
but its just that..its full of distractions..
they make me lose my focus..

and..yeah..

stopping all these nonsense..

so from now on.. facebook..not anymore..
blogging? till next year i think..
msn? nah..

i've got no time to dedicate to this now..

especially now..

so..if you wanna communicate with me..do it the old fashion way..

in real life..

through text message..
calls..
chat sessions..

you name it..
i'll be in it..
when ever..
where ever..

peace out..forever..

^_^


awoosh out!!

operation abandon cyber world commences at T-minus 0800 hours on sunday.
prepare yourselves

going ermm is just human. saying i forgive you is divine.

well..my brain is overloaded with maths junk..
ehh..
well..

ofcourse..5 hours of maths?
how could that not fry your brain..

aniwaes..

im really really tired rite now..
i've been not sleeping well lately..
and im always up early
and revising and whatever not..

gonna have tuition later and..
ughh..
uber drained..

__________________________

ever get the feeling of being lonely?
i mean..really lonely till you feel lost..

yeah..

aniwaes..

just so stressed up lately..
and i keep getting this feeling that something is wrong whenever..
whenever..
i see..
you..

hmm..
am i halucinating?
im not sure..

but everytime..
i..
you know what?

nvm..

*sigh..

two more days to go..

3 more papers to finish..

*sigh..

where's a friend when you need one?

awoosh out..

UBER WORN OUT!!! X_X

today had a very very very very very long day..

well..

couldnt sleep again..
coz of random things going on in my head in the middle of the night..
wake up cannot sleep back..
again..
for a few weeks now..

so..
7-9a.m: amaths remedial with mrs goh
reach home at 9.30a.m prepare tuition stuff,do tuition hmwk until 10.15a.m
left house without eating breakfast/luch..
reach library at 10.35a.m
very tired by then..
2hr30mins of tuition till 1p.m..
reach home at 1.25p.m..
took a long shower till 1.35p.m..
ate lunch..till 2.10p.m
get ready for madrasah and left at 2.20p.m
reach madrasah 2.50p.m
all the way till 5.25p.m..
after that..went roaming..
until 8 without dinner..
come home at 8.20p.m..ate dinner..
now here i am..

half closed eyes..
uber lethargic..
feel like my head's gonna drop any minute..
ahahahaa..

i guess i better get to sleep now..
please sleep..
i wanna wake up at 12p.m tomoro..
mom..give me your power to sleep the whole day..
please..
i really need it!!!

hehe..

off to my sleep!!

awoosh out!!

i seriously have the urge to talk to girls already..
=/ *sigh.. dont worry..after exams all will be ok..^_^

if you cant stand the heat..get out of the fridge! O_O?

HAHAHAHA!!.. i dont know why but im feeling very random..

wahaha.. i dont really know why..
but..

ouh well..time to get serious..
tomoro paper 2 for english and history after that..

i've already screwed up for social studies..
aint no way imma screw history..

well..
yeah..
hehe
_____________________________

its really really sad..
to do those things to you..
and..
i really regret it a lot..
now i really cant wait for the exams to be done..

coz i really really want to you know..
yeah..
i just miss you..

*sigh..
dont know if u miss me or not uh..
but..
i miss you lah..

lol..

hmm..

well..better get revising..

after exams..

me and you..talk talk talk..and cheesecake.

lol..

_______________________

good luck to all who are having their exams tomoro!
hehe..

abit late to be wishing luck but its better late then never i always say..
=P

okok.. im off..


awoosh out!! ^_^

just as i left it..

WAHAHAHAHAHA!!

sweet!!
my blogs still here!!

muahahaha..

ok..so..havent been bloggin for a week now..i think..
maybe more..
for obvious reasons ofcourse..
haha..

aniwaes..

have been abit ALOT sad this week..
FOR OBVIOUS REASONS..
im so tensed up..
and..
i feel like im alone again..

*sigh..

honey went away for obvious reasons.. :(
the guys..yeah sure they're fun to be with but..
i feel like something's missing..~_~

pardon me by saying for saying this but..

honey..i miss you..
i miss talking to you.
i miss walking with you.
i miss your laughter.
i miss your stoned face.
i miss your orangeness.
:(

lol..its been a long time since we actually communicated..

and thank you for wishing me luck for my exams.
good luck to you too for your O's..
you can definately pass with flying wei jun's colours i mean..

insyallah

*sigh..

aniwaes..
i've got a long holiday infront of me..
and i believe i should spend it wisely..

gonna start with amaths now..
hehe..

all the best to 4e's and 5n's for ur exams!

=D

awoosh out!

english oral examination

WAHAHAHAHA!!!

OMG!! today's oral was the best oral examination evar!!
1stly: i made the teacher smile..
2ndly: i made her laugh too..
3rd: speaking of racial harmony..i told her im a RHYA-ian.
4th: when she gave me a quote, i reply with another quote and she said: wow firdaus, impressive..

WAHAHAHA

how could that not be the best oral ever?

last but not least.. i had fun chit chatting with her..
hehe..
thanks ms farhana?
wahaha..
idk..
new teacher..

_____________________________

aniwaes..2.4km run today again..
wahahaha..
love running..
hehe.. just now couldnt run well..
my heart started giving problems again and
something wrong is going on with my right foot..
i cant explain it..but i just continued running and never stopped..

yeah..i got the stamina..
but i really cant do it without the support my classmates showed me..
wow..
awesome lah you guys all..

ruhhaidi,haziq,weijun,zhaowei,'arifah,syafiqah,syafinaz,dada,fakhriah,iffah,munirah,nurul,fadeelah..

hehe.. thanks for cheering me on..
im proud to call you my friends.

^_^..

then..

while mr loke annoucin the results..
my leg started feeling funny..
nearly cramped up so i stood up fast to avoid cramping..
then..
the worst happened..

as i walked to mr star's class..
my feet were hurting like mad..
wow..
every step i took was like walking on fire..
it friggin hurts..

even now it still hurts..
maybe i strained my foot somehow..
salah urat ker..
entah lah..

and to top it all off..
the cuts and scrapes from yesterday
when my adek was playing balls in the room and accidently hit the ceiling light..which fell and broke into a million pieces..
and unfortunately..i was the only casualty..

thanks arh adek..
ouh and thank you foot..
you've really hurt me now..
literally..

-_-

hahaha...

'arifah!! your amaths book 2 is with me!! MUAHAHAHAH!!
dont worry, i'll keep it safe..


awoosh out!!

exiled..

hmm..im not sure why but..

i feel like im being isolated..
this is really wierd coz..
i've been feeling useless lately..

and..

*sigh..
im having a bad week here..
1st thing..my friend here..whom i shall not name..
he has this problem.. which is..his life..
and he wants to end it..

and..ugh..
i dont wanna talk about it..

and then comes the miscommunication..
between me and 4..

coz she thought that i thought that we both miscommunicated and i believe it was my fault..
-_-..
my post was referring to this other friend of mine..
who dont believe in love anymore..
then..
when i read 4's blog earlier today..

and..she also stated she " doesnt believe in love "

what a long winded miscommunication this is..

and im feeling the effects..
coz..

im guilty for this miscommunication..
both of these people dont seem to talk to me anymore..
so i can conclude that im useless..

well..i tried to save you my friend..

4, i honestly didnt read your blog yesterday..i didnt know..
*sigh..
im the one to be blamed for the miscommunication..

*sigh..

im isolated..

awoosh out..

*sigh..just ignore the last post..

*sigh..

no way..
no way..

i will not stop believing..

14 quotes..

i live by it..
by hook or by crook..
i will fulfill what i promise myself..

if you want to bring me down..
go ahead..

i will rise up again..

believe me..

you are the last mistake im ever going to make..
im not gonna feel sorry for you..
hmm..

up to you to live your own life..

i've practicallly had it with you and your bullshet..
you dont believe in love?
your problem..

i still believe in love..
hmm..
isyallah..it will stay with me till the end of time.
believe it..
coz i still believe in my loving friend..

you on the other hand..up to you to start loving..
if not then..
there's no point in living life either..

i wish you the best of luck in life..

hmph..that is..if you still want to live it..


i know this is not the time for being all lovey-dovey and such..
but,
i just want to reassure..that i still love you my loving friend.
*sigh..times are hard..but please..dont let go..
keep holding on..

and you my friend..
i say it again..
there's no point in me trying to fight for you..if you yourself dont fight for yourself..

I STILL BELIEVE..

please..dont break my heart now..

awoosh out..

yeah..you never fail..

to bring me to the lowest depths of my emotions..

huh..you really LOVE to drag me into the pit of hate..

you really LOVE to see me suffer at the end of the day..

you really have no heart..
hmph..
no wonder you dont trust..
coz..you dont believe..

im digusted by the way you planned your filthy life..

hmm..

let me tell you my friend..
there are more to life than death..
there are friends..
there are family..

more importantly there is love..

why are you so afraid to love someone?

is it coz you've been rejected too many times before?

heh..proves my point exactly..

human being's gratest fear is rejection..

huh..you say you suffer from a former puppy dog love relationship..
thats not a reason why you should stop loving..

aniwaes..

about your damn life..

you are still young..
you still have time to change your destiny..

if you dont believe..
then..whose gonna believe for you?

as a friend..

im doing all i can to save you from this..
but if you are not fighting against the darkness..
then..
this is already a lost battle even before it began..

please my friend..

do not do this..

i beg of you..

*sigh..

you really love to break my heart eh?
love to see me break down..

sometimes i wonder..
why do i have such a caring heart..
i mean..
as a guy..
i shouldnt be this caring..

ugh.. my weakness..
*sigh..

thanks arh..

baru semalam dah happy..
you ruined my day..
how great is that..

thank you..

you really thought me not to believe anymore..

awoosh is gone..

im ready

*inhale
*exhale

alrite..
after yesterday's pleasent chat with honey(after soo long)
and after yesterday's mother tongue paper
and after yesterday's meeting..
and just now's awesome sleep..

I AM READY FOR A LONG DAY TODAY..

muahahaha..

not sad about my lost shoes anymore..
lol..

but still..
hmm..

lol..aniwaes..

going for tuition rite about now..and all the way till 5+ is madrasah.

yessah..

im ready world..

then maybe after that i'll do some art..

hehe..

thanks honey..
great to chat with you again after a long time..
hehe..

happy always kay?

muahahaha..

^_^
smile always and always smile.

peace.
out.

awoosh out!!

=D

EXAM PERIOD BEGINS.

alrite so.. umm..uhh..

^_^ hee..

okok..

so today had our mid year mt paper..
1 and 2 ofcourse..

hmm..

im not gonna say anything about it.
just smile and wave..

^_^

*wave wave*
_________________
aniwaes..

still bummed out though..

*sigh..

how could i lose you.
you were so dear to me..
why did you leave me especially now?
*sigh..
i lost you on wednesday..

and now..
*sigh..
miserable like..
yeah..

mom asked why i soo moody after wednesday..
i told her,i lost you.
mom only sighed.. and said..
dont worry..

there are others..
besides..
no point being sad..
awoosh,now is not the time to be concerned about silly things like losing you.
and..yeah i agree..
its very friggin stupid..
*sigh..

goodbye you..

i'll miss you..
those times..
the great run we had..
*sigh..

goodbye..
_______________

lol..

now that's out.. im out..

wahahaha!!

ouh btw..
well.. this sounds kinda wierd rite?
i know this kinda sounds like im referring to a person?
lol..but im not..

its just that..
I LOST MY SHOEE!!!

-_-|||

so sad..

grr..

so dont terase ahh..

hehe..
_________________

so im currently at RHYA meeting rite now..
haha..
using the com here..
lol..
and..im bored waiting for the people to come..
maybe i'll go sleep first..
yeah..thats a good idea..

haha.. alrite imma go..now..
yeap..

awoosh out.. *sigh..byebye converse shoe..

you just reassured my fears

why thank YOU for reassuring my fears..

hah..
never thought this day would come..
but well..

nothing lasts forever..

heh..

didnt see it coming though..
i must admit..
that caught me by suprise..

but i guess..

it's all over now.

i dont wanna suffer anymore..
i dont wanna carry that burden..

fyi..it hurts..

heh..but what do you know..

my feelings are insignificant to you lah..
so..
i guess im nothing in your presence..

^_^

im abit sad but ouh well..
that life i guess..

and you are the last mistake im ever gonna make.

^_^

________________________

today headache!!

WAHAHAH..
aiyoyoyo..
my head goes boom boom pow..
during physics..
and all the way to AEP..

wahahaha..

thank you rain for quenching my mind..
ahh..refreshing..

lol..
well not only the rain lah..

ghaf and malay boys prayed at cikgu zaetun's class..
wahaha.. amek air wuduk..
then my mind started to feel better..
after solat..
wow.. my mind so much clearer..

wahahaha..

alhamdulillah..

*sigh..

still sad though..

i lost my shoe..
*sigh..

ouh well..

i lost my mind. i lost my mood.then, i lost my shoe. i just hope that i wont lose you.

awoosh out

NAPHA TEST!

wahahah.. AWESOMEEE!!!

lol..

quite..disappointing..

at one station..or two..

lol..

what have i improved?

standing broad jump.. last year-205cm
this year- 212cm

sit ups..last year-45
this year-48

shuttle run.. last year-12.5secs
this year-11.10secs

_________________

i must say.. THE BLOCK FELL OUT OF MY HAND!!!
WTF?!!..

RESTAKE SHUTTLE RUN!!!
WAHAHAHA..

and 2.4 too!

^_^..
last time was just the warm up..

next time is the real thing..

^_^

cant wait for that..

___________________

thank you all who supported me and motivated me..

creds to zw..
if not.. i wouldnt have beaten him in sit ups.. wahahaha!!

zw situps-42
me situps-48

WAHAHAHAHA!!!

good game..

awoosh out.

we all need one..

WAHAHAHAHA!! someone GOT PIMPLE!!!

WAHAHAHAHAHA!!

dah mature seyh..
lol..

ker stress?
ALERMAk...

O_O..

hehe..

aniwaes..

i was just staring at mom and dad's
picture when they were young..

ahh those two love birds..
haha..
so cute..

mom so pweety!
hehe..
back then..
now.. SHE BEAUTIFUL..
^_^

how did they met actually..
hmm..
still puzzles me..

all i know is..
dad really love my mummeh..
lol..

mom shared how he used to sacrifice loads of things..
for her..
but still..not forgetting whats important in life..
hehe..
ahh dad..ouh dad..

so lucky to have mummeh..

i love u both lah..

lol.. quite fascinating really..
to find out about the past..
how time flies..

i looked at the baby picture..
of me..
wow..
i've grown soo much..

mom and dad didnt disappoint me..
now..
its my turn to not disappoint them..

watch me conquer my O levels..

^_^..

i'll do you proud.

_________________________

hehe.. continue watching me..

^_^


awoosh out

hmm..

WaAHAHAHAHA!!

so..today..2.4km run..
and um..
hehe..
my timing suxs.. YOU KNOW WHY?
coz i wanna retake..wahahaha..
i know..sounds stupid..
its just that..
the shoes i ran in..not suitable..
i dont like to run in the hot and humid and endless loop around the carpark..
its so friggin tiring..

i'd rather run 3 rounds around school than run 14 rounds around carpark..
-_-

ya lah.. complain complain complian jer lah aku nii..
-_-..

but during today's run..i look up at the sky..
the clouds were beautiful..
i was lost..
haha..
before i knew it.. 10 rounds past by so fast..
hah..
nice..
but i had an uneasy feeling..
in my heart..

then..
during star's class..
*this may sound wierd* but..
my heart hurted so dame badly..
heart cramp..
crap..it hurts.. so i went toilet..
refill my bottle..
this is no joke..
ouch..

aniwaes..
SO DAME LETHARGIC..
yesterday go johor help with construction..
my grandfather extending the house..
wow..
cool cool!

^_^ i loike!

so.. today very the.. Ughh.. *gloomy..*worn out..

just now during mother tongue AEP..
'arifah slept on her table..
then i also tempted to just close my eyes..
and just doze off..
so..
nice..
the wheather was supporting me..

grr.. but then..
u know lah..
class and all..
i shall not slack anymore..

ok.. so im back here..

researching on art still..
got loads of ideas already! MUAHAHAHAA!!!


awoosh out!!

O_O

my eyes going bonkers..


wahahaha..
nice..
grr..

aniwaes..

finally walked..
from sembawang to woodlands..
after like.. AGES..

all i can say is.. WOW..
never felt so wonderfull..so stressfree..so..tiring..so hot..
all at the same time this year..
WAHAHAHA..

well..
otw to our destination..
we talked about banglas..
and.. that sorta stuff..
how to promote them without indirectly demoralising them..
wahaha..

she asked me a question..i never thought she would ask..
excellent question..
i answered it honestly..
hope my answer satisfies you.
^_^..

and i realised that..

my " I SHOULD's " comes first..
however, my " I WANTS " will come later in life.

im still young.. i have nothing to worry about.
i shouldnt regret my life..especially now..
im 16 this year.. i have to enjoy life.. make the best out of things..
and just.. live my life to the fullest i guess..

^_^..

well said?

i dont know..

_______________________________

thanks 4 for the walk and everything else that comes after..
^_^..

oo..and the chocolate too..reminds me of the past..

WAHAHAHA..

thanks again..
________________________________

ouh and to reply to ur friendship letter you gave me the other day..

i will always be your loving friend too.those times..the memories. will be cherished.the walks..the talks..the laughs..the arguments..the "i love you" letter..etc. i would like to thank you for all you have sacrificed for me. all the time u wasted because of me. i would like to say sorry for the times you cried because of me. i guess, without you.. i would still be punching walls and regretting life about now.. halfway dead towards the O levels. thank you for being such a great friend. for believing in me. for accepting me for who i am. as a friend. as a loving friend. as a person you can always count on. a friend like you is a one in a million. im greatfull for having you in my life. as my loving friend. do remember that 1444 still lives. its all up to the 4 to 414.. ^_^. thank you once again

grr...

im so hating the constant weather changes..

its really deteriorating my health..

since the start of this constant change..
i've been getting ill more often..

i mean.. PHYSICALLY..
not mentally..

so..i've just taken my temprature..
its 38.3 degrees..

and yeap..

i've been coughin like mad since i came home..

and now..it started raining..again..

-_-

aniwaes..

hope i'll be better tomoro for RHYA meeting..

please be on..

dont be like last time..

one thing i hate most when im sick is..

i tend to blabber or talk gibbereish..
i really cannot control what im saying or typing..
im sorry if i mispronounce/mis-say somethings..

hey.. my minds totally weak rite now..i should get some rest..

-_-..

awoosh out..

last day before school starts.

im not at my best today..

lol..

sick sick sick sick..

non stop.

flu here..flu there..
cough cough cough..
rub rub rub
sneeze
achoo
rub head
migraine migraine
feel so sick
woot woot..

i can literally make a techno remix out of it..
wahaha..

head poundin like boom boom..

my heart is the base going *DUX DUX DUX DUX*
literally beatboxing in my chest..

wahahaha..

i love the warm feeling my body feels when im sick..
but it totally suxs to have running nose..
i dont have the energy to play catching..

-_-..

wahahaha..

lalalalala...

hmm..=/

i wonder..

where do babies come from?

really puzzles my mind..

probably they pop out from the clouds and drop down to earth into their cribs..

lol..ahh..

that makes sense..

awoosh out!!


BABIES FALL OUT FROM THE SKY!!

WADDUUUUUUUHHH!!!

today..cramps all over..

my fingers are numb..

my muscles are aching..

when i woke up in the morning..

i was greeted by a sharp pain on my left ribcage..

damn painfull!!

wahahaha..

but no choice lah..
no one would believe me so..
carried on the day..doin usual stuff..
and enduring the agonizing pain..

wahaha..
very fun..
tuitio teacher tried to kill me with differentiation with logarithms..
he was like.. ok lets try something new..

solve this..
i look at the question and i was like..O_O
didnt mrs goh said that differentiation no logs?
OMG!!!!...

if this comes out for exams im screwed..

lol..NAH!!

the logarithms require abit more brainwork..
other than that..the steps are all..
the same..

after that..
went to madrasah..
lol..

ustazah was like.. firdaus? asal pegang pegang badan kamu tuu? gatal eh?
bukan lah ustazah..ribcage saya sakit..
sakit? macam mane bole sakit? ni mesti main kasar ker main wrestling ni tau..
ehh takder lah cikgu..saya maen tug of war semalam..salah position arh..
ouh..patutlah..

-_-|||

AWK-WARD..

aniwaes..

im literally freezing myself to death..
just to make this feeling on my chest numb..
so that i wont suffer as much..

and i tell ya..
moving around today..
was a freakin challenge..
i kinda got a feeling of a handicap..

alhamdulillah im not..

awoosh out..

another sports day ended with a bang.

awesome stuff..awesome stuff..

kudos to all participants!!

aniwaes..

had tug of war just now..
and i must say..
DAMN SHIOK LAH!!

wooh!

although i would love to complain about my hands burning..my calf muscles killing me and all..
i'd say..that was the i mean.. THE best house games evar..

awesome..

aniwaes..

about the green confetti paper zila gave 'arifah..
i have no idea why she gave you that..
lol..

______________________

after everything..

went for friday prayers with ghaf..
invited him over to my place..
and chilled until bout 5.50pm..
then we met up with randolph,weijun,shipeng and zhaowei..

ate seoul garden and now..
i officially smell like one too..
lol..

aniwaes..THANKS RANDOLPH OL' BUDDY OL' PAL..

after eating seoul garden..

of to watch movie!

originally wanted to watch clash of the titans..
but then.."SOMEONE" said it suxs..
so we watched how to train your dragon..(for me..again)
ahh..
shiok!

love it..

aniwaes..

playtimes over..

tomoro start work again..

better be prepared..

make it or break it..

AWOOH AWOOH AWOOH!

awoosh out!!

YESSAA~~!!

woot!! survived another week in school!!

and just a few more weeks till exams..=/
great..

until then..i will prepare myself accordingly..

alrite..

the S.U.P.E.R achievers boost just now for CLD..
was AWESOME!!

ahh.. i miss the good old days..

exams are coming..and what better time to get motivated..

WAHHOOO..

ouh yeah!!

a lil confidence and thought renewall boost..

awesome..

_____________________________________

another long day at A.E.P..
but hey..
its for the better..

im so hyped up on learning..
i will try to keep this momentum..
at this pace..
the exams next three weeks will be conquered..
WAHAHAHA!!!

yeah..

ok..dont get too over confident yet..

three more weeks..

make it..or break it..

^_^

lets go..


awoosh out!

today..was freaky?

haha..started the day off with a smile..
wahaha..
zw seems damn happy about his fantsies thingy..
O_O..
i dont quite understand his fantasies..
-_-

lol

aniwaes..
the whole day was so enjoyable..
haha..me and zw crackin jokes all throughout the day..
damn..

aniwaes..
P.E..2.4 again
and..have i slacked?
no..it must be the wheather..ITS SO DAMN HOT JUST NOW..
halfway through..i couldnt breathe..
i was like..grr..
im not gonna do this again..
go go go..
luckily got someone cheering me on..
give me extra strength..
haha..
THANK YOU!

aniwaes..
my timing..was 14.44 minutes
hmm..
worst timing this year..
damn..
i just love the hot/humid wheather..
makes running so so much easier..

aniwaes.. today had a long day..
after school played the piano..well..
only three songs..
iyaz-solo
five for fighting- superman
owl city- vanilla twilight

well..im learning solo now..haha..
WOOH!!

damn..im beat!
mt classes till 5..
in between had a short break..
i took a short nap..coz my eyes were so heavy..
when i woke up..
my vision was blurry..
seriously damn blurry!!

when i stepped outside the classroom when the thing was over still blurry..
i went to the toilet and checked my eyes..
ouh..dont tell me i have to wear specs again..
-_-|||
then while i was walkin out the school gate..
i stumbled on a few tiles on the carpark..

i think some of the peeps saw..
then when i walked out of the school gate..
all i could see was..blur..blur..and more blur..

so..i shook my head all the way..
until at the mrt station..
i finally can see abit clearer..

damn..that was a wierd experience..

astaghfirullah..

alrite..

i've nothin more to say..
__________________________

hmm..yeah..i read ur diary..
so..
O_O..
what are you trynna say here?

__________________________

i just simply cant care for some people anymore..
its just that the feelings are fading away..
=/
i guess life would be better without you.
and i plan on livin my life to the fullest thank you very much.
u are just a barrier in between me and my happiness..
why should i care for a person who doesnt care for me?

the golden rule : treat others the way you want others to treat you.

so..if i treat u..and u dont treat me the same..
i guess its no different than me not treating you is it?

haha..
good..

^_^

adios amigos!
see ya..wouldnt wanna be ya..

awoosh out!

enjoying the day while i still can

well..yesterday was a real dumb bumbasckets..

-_-..but look on the bright side!

i bought new shoes! WAHAHAHAHA!!

WOOT!! thanks dad!

awesome.. damn love my new shoes!

HEY..I PUT MY NEW SHOES ON AND SUDDENLY EVERYTHIN IS RIGHT..
I SAID..
HEY..I PUT MY NEW SHOES ON AND SUDDENLY EVERYTHING IS RIGHT..
SHORT ON MONEY BUT LONG ON TIME..
SLOWLY SOAKIN IN THE SWEET SUNSHINE..

- PAOLO NUTINI-NEW SHOES


NICE SONG NICE SONG..

ANIWAES.. STARTING THE DAY OFF RIGHT..
RECITE A COUPLE OF SURAH'S..
and off to my daily..dull..boring..*insert words that describe a feeling of discontent or total blandness of life*

see..there i go again..-_-..

i cant help it.. im a thinker..and a hugger too..and a cheesecaker too..
wait..the last one doesnt make sense..O_O...

lol..

aniwaes..i love my new shoes..

watch out world..here i come..
with my new pair of green puma shoes!!

HELL YEAH!!

ouh you..yeah you..

*insert expletive here*

boo to you too!! JACKsAShS

awoosh out!!

boomz boomz.duhh...O_O

ok..today..didnt go as i expected it to..

i mean..

1stly.. THERE WAS NO PICNIC IN THE FIRST PLACE!! OUH MY GOSH!!!-_-|||

2ndly.. I CANCELLED THE OUTING WITH HONEY FOR NOTHING!! OUH MY CHEESE!!

3rdly.. IM REALLY TIRED COZ I DIDNT SLEEP WELL LAST NIGHT!! thanks to the cramp-_-..

4thly.. NOOOO!!!!

5thly.. HA..HA..CHHOOOOOO!! *sniffs*

6thly.. O_O..umm..what was number six again?

7thly.. i miss you..

what comes after 7? O_O

umm..

9thly.. i seriously think i wasted a good friday..-_-..

10thly.. im so bored!!

11thly.. im SO bored!!!! did i say that already? no..i dont think so..

12thly.. WEEE~!!

13thly.. boomz..

14thly.. GET ROS BACK ON 98.7FM!!!! RIS SUCKS!!! BOO!!!

what a day..

hmm..

tomoro saturday..

grr..

so much for a relaxing good friday..-_-

thanks..alot..

sarcasm

its a way of speech to express your superiority of language.
and it works on two levels.

one. u express your sarcastic side adding a lil bit of joke
so that a person would not be hurt by ur repulsive comment.

two. u scold them horribly in a soft tone therefor killing them slowly
but surely..


my advice..
not for the faint hearted.
coz..if u misuse this skill of making a retorical remark..
u could end up..hurting the ones u dont wanna hurt..
and thus leading you spiralling into depression..

^_^

p.s.. im not tryin to be sarcastic..
coz i am sarcasm..
ehh..i was born with it..
^_^

heh..
___________________________

aniwaes..
got scolded again for something i didnt do..
again..
lol.. star ouh star..
aniwaes..
i accepted my punishment..
-_-..

well..

now i know..who really are my friend/s
thank you for standing up for me.

and sorry if u got scolded for doing so..
u shouldnt have..

_____________________________

aniwaes..
today was a learning frenzy..
A.E.P all the way till 6p.m..
lol.. Amaths.physics..chemistry

wooh..im dead beat!.

haha..
_____________________________

im tryin my best not to bother about you too much.
^_^
and im not.

put all this aside..
now's not the time for this..
save it for after the O's..

hmph!

lets get this party rollin..

awoosh out!

do it once..do it right.

i hate my mind for being so deep..

i just hate it..

hmm..

musnt define too much..
its affecting my thinking drastically..

but seriously..

damn..

it just hurts to an extent..
that..
*sigh..

forget it..

i need to think shallower..

alrite..

hmm =/..

thats all i have to say.

im just gonna keep my mouth shut..

*sniff

lol..

sick!! yattaaa!!!

ughh..

aniwaes.. umm..

yesterday nite..
chatted with honey..
and yeah..
kinda "celebrated" earth hour yesterday..
lol..

and uhh..well..
had a great time chatting with her again..
after i lost my cool the other day..
haiyoyo..

aniwaes..

im droppin my responsibility as an abg ang..
i dont want to get involve in this mess anymore..
the only adeks i want to have are my own blood relations.
nothing more..
heh..
u all can handle urselfs..

you dont need me anymore..
bole lawan sama sama..boleh solve it sama sama..
im not gonna tell u what u should do already.
i dont wanna SPOON FEED you guys anymore..

Zw helped me to see this..
and honey too..

and i believe its for the best..
for both me..and u..

hmm..

^_^

now thats out of the way..

i want to take my medications now.
^_^

see ya!!

hey honey! get well soon yeah?

heh..

awoosh out!!

reasons why i got mad

ok.
reflection time.

what actually made me mad?

1) accused for doing something i didnt do.(again)
2) injuries starting to hurt.(again)
3) headache caused by the hot and humid weather(typical)
4) sick because of the constant weather change.
5) got scolded by star before chem AEP.(again)
6) rough play during TAF club.
7) stressed out about art.
8) juniors going home before i could have one last talk with them
9) 'someone's' attitude
10) couldnt concentrate during chem AEP.
11) forgotten to bring my ezlink card.
12) quarter masters not doing their job.
13) people keep touching my injuries.


well..i dont think anyone could be happy after this.
i mean..HOW COULD YOU BE HAPPY IF ALL THIS THINGS HAPPEN IN ONE DAY.
i couldnt help it. im sorry if i blasted out my anger at my friends.
my precious loving friends.

hmm.. guess i woke up on the wrong side of bed that day..
aww man..

im always in this situation.
need more self control.

*inhale..
*exhale..

will talk to you soon 'arifah.

im clearing my air that i breathe.

the dirty green has to go.

reflection closed.

awoosh out.

thank you.

today..hmm..i have to be greatfull to all the people.
who helped to..teach me a lesson.
a cold and hard lesson

mr star- you..ok..never thought me a lesson..well..maybe too much fast food is bad for one's health.i totally agree..
but..you gave me the time..to reflect..on my actions.
ouh and..i deserve it.thank you.

'arifah- sorry you had to go home alone yesterday.i really didnt mean to leave you behind like that.it was all my fault. i was so angry and frustrated and i..
sorry. i've learnt my lesson and..i felt what u felt just now..
coz went home without me just now..
hope we can talk soon. thank you.

adli- bro. im sorry if i said those things. i shouldnt have said it.i know.it just came out and i couldnt control my mouth at that time. im really really sorry if i hurt your feelings whatsoever.im sorry bro.please forgive me.thank you.

das-thank you for hitting my injuries. it really made me feel the pain. just like how i made honey feel when i was angry.i shouldnt have done what i did.thank you for making me realise that.


thank you all.

i promise. i will change. to be a better student.colleague.accoplice.friend.loving friend.

please accept my sincere apology

i promise it wont happen again.

honey, im sorry.

awoosh out..

NO MORE SADNESS..IN WITH THE GREEN OUT WITH THE BLUES. THIS GREEN DUDE IS READY FOR A NEW REVOLUTION.

TIME TO CHANGE.

yesterday's CLD lesson.

star talked about self control.

what does self control mean actually..

it means.. tryin to control your anger and not let anyone notice it.
it means.. tryin to control yorself from being angered by others.
it means.. tryin to keep your blood cool when angered.

hmm..clearly..i have not fully mastered this "SELF CONTROL" business.

hmm.. i've done reflecting.
took the whole morning to do it..

i really dont want to be the one getting angry
and the one who losses it all at the end of the day.

i will practice self control.

sorry.

off to subuh.

awoosh out.

unbelievable..

officially lost my mood again today..

*sigh..

stupid..stupid..stupid..


hmm.. wont say i'll be better tomoro..

today is so effed up..

*sigh..

hope you have fun without me..
studying with him and all...

he's onli gonna make my blood boil more..
i dont wanna risk it..its either i sit there and ruin my day further..
or i just go home..take a breather..

you dont wanna go home..ok..fine..
i go home myself.
no worries..
its better for me..

i dont want to get angry anymore..

besides..

i need sometime alone..

i need the whole of tomoro..
to reflect.

*sigh..

today really..ugh..

its ruined..

unbelievable..


wont utter a single word tomoro..

awoosh out..

give me space..

for one day.

SUPPORT.

today, hah! HAD A GREAT GREAT AFERNOON..
even though..
started it off like...
SHET..

haha..

honey, sorry uh if i never talk to you yesterday.
coz i look at u and u were like..
SO SO SO angry/ frustrated..
yeah..i know its becoz of... yeah..
but u look at though..u wanted to kill someone..
its like.." dont talk to me or i will kill you" look..

wahaha.. sorry lah..yesterday..actually i wanted to have a chat with u after school
but then..u hilang..
disappeared.
lol..
im sorry if i didnt talk to you yesterday.
it was entirely my fault.


so..today..did art with honey..somewhere..
hehe..then she was singing..while doin work..
so i turned off my ipod and listen to her sing..
great voice. haha..from sec 1 seyy..
=D
then looked at paintings..
alot of them are either about christ..or they were...EHEM..
honey would know..

heh!

aniwaes..thanks for a great day.
and the pinches as well..^_^

i would also like to thank tiara for the slaps..
the beats.. she gave me just now after school.
thanks.


1444

awoosh out!

im really grateful to have you.

never fail to bring me up when im down.
never fail to make me green when im blue.

thank you.

i thought about those words you told me.
its true.
i've been too hard on myself just to finish off the work.

i suffered intense confusion at the start of the day
causing me to..lose my grip..
and leading to be so confused.so lost.

thank you for bringin me back to reality.
i guess..u just found me.the me i was searchin for.

thank you for all u've done.
im really really grateful to have you by my side in times of need.
thank you for all you've done.

alhamdulillah..for havin u in my life.

i love you my honey.

^_^

thanks for makin my day..

awoosh out.

GET READY FOR A NEW REVOLUTION THAT WILL MAKE HISTORY. LOOK OUT WORLD.HERE I COME.

hmm..

i dont feel..

like..

O_O..

ughh..that's bull dung..


*slaps face...


im not losing my grip..

i think you are..but i just hope u arent..
i dont wanna lose u..


okok..

im confused..

i need some help..

hmm..=/

im appearing to lose my mood..

i dont know why..

but i have a feeling..its because of you..

no..not you..

YOU..


=/

aniwaes.. im gonna find myself..


haish..last day of holidays..

BUCK UP FIRDIE..

awoosh out..

no more i love you's..

home alone..again..

HAHAHa... seems like im home alone again..

LOL..

good..


aniwaes.. today..
hmm where should i start?
hehehe..

LIKE FINALLY GET TO MEET..
lol..after one week of not meeting..*Duhh..
T_T

hehe.. great day..great day..

haha.. especially the hot air/water rises and the cold air/water sinks
LOL..laugh like..wooh!! giler..
NYEHHEH..

haiyoyoyo..buat physics..ish..
for 6 hours? LOL..
NII LAH..ketawa ketawa..

sape yang start dulu?!
aku juga..-_- lol..


WOWZAAA!!


thanks for a great afternoon..

and the walk! hehe
never had one of those in a while..
hehe..

and the time we got speechless..
and the time the apek nyanyi karaoke..
and the time we counted steps..
wahahaha..

thanks.

^_^


1444!

awoosh out!

missing you too much.

i cant help but think about you..

guess im just missing u..
ALOT

*sigh..i just wanna see your face again.
i wanna hear your voice.
hmm..

feeling so lonely now..

*get a grip lah awoosh..
uggh.. sometimes i sound so pathetic..
hah.. i know..
i guess..its kinda typical for me to feel this way..?
heh..
yeah..

i cant help it ok? so this is what it feels like to really..
really love someone and miss them when they're gone..
hmm..
wow..

come home soon honey..i wish to give u a big huggY!!!
-_-..
now i can just hug the gift u gave me.
^_^
thank you honey. u take care.
have fun
_____________________________________________________

wahahaha... okok..time to concentrate..
brr..*slaps face..
alrite.. here we go!
well..

hmm..

lets see.. ayam penyet gave me stomach ache..haha..must be the sambal..
=/
today..project meeting..
CH!!

wahahaha..
and uhh..im talkin crap..so..
imma get going now..

hehe..


awoosh out!!

AWW!! here come's the missing part again..

AWW MAN!!!!

honey's going off to mersing..
for two days?

*sigh..
baru jer balik dari batam..-_-..

hehe..

chatted with honey..just now and..
WOW..
she misses me too!
hehe..thats a first..
usually its like..hi awoosh welcome back..
but..now its like..
AWWOOOSSHH!! i miss you!!!...

wooh..okok..
*calm down..

its just that..

I MISS YOU TOO!!!!
=P

and now, your turn to go off?
the agony begins..
wahahahaha!!

i'll try to not think of u..
but..im already missing you.
-_-..

haha..
okok

will keep my mind focus..

have a safe and delightful getaway honey..
i will await your arrival..
in two days time..
^_^

14444444444444444

hehe..

awoosh out!!

BACK FROM BATAM!!

WOOT!!!

ahh its great to be back!!

HOME SWEET HOME!!

*INHALES..

ahh..good old warm..sunny and humid singapore air..

wahahahaha!!

i see someone misses me..
MUAHAHAHAHHAHAA!!!

I MISSES YOU TOO!!!..

actually..

i got really sick on the second day because i was missing 'someone' too much..
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
i know..wierd..
that's what my mom told me..

nii mesti rindukan orang tau ni..
as sick as i was..
i tried to deny it but..

she gave me 'the look'..

lol.. mum's.. can never fool them..

lol.. well, i learnt my lesson..

3 days seems like three years eh?
wahahahaha.. guess three years just flew by in a blink of an eye..
hehe..

wahhHH!!

i miss you really badly!!

I WANNA HUGGIE MY HONEEYYY!!

but i cant..=/

ouh well..

haha..

alrite..so, already got away..

am i relaxed yet?
no, not really..no..

O_O..haish..

ouh well..
got to get to work now..
hah! here goes..


aww man..gonna miss those times..
those commands..

pancaragam! sedi-a!

ahh... good ol' times..


awoosh out!!

I MISS YOU!!!

thank you.

hey SW!

thank you for the memories.
thank you.
i'll always cherish them.
when im lonely.
i'll reminisce..
back to the time..
i was still in the band.

you guys changed me into what i am today.
and i believe..that..if it wasnt for band..i wouldnt have met you guys.
and if it wasnt for band..i wouldnt be what i am today.
thank you all.
yesterday wasnt a sad occasion.
but tears were being shed.
please fellow band mates..
dont cry.

instead wish us the best for our future endevours.
because..we really need it.
but..thank you for shedding those tears. it shows how much you cared.
about me. about the sec 4/5. about the band.
thank you sembwinds.

i havent had the chance to talk to my sec 1's yet. i'll think i'll talk to them the next band pract. ^_^

______________________________________________


OMGOSH!!
im going batam!!
today!!
in the morning!!!
aww man!!
im gonna miss my honey really badly..
>_<

well..i'll be gone for three days..
hehe..hope my lil sister dont go missing again..-_-|||
wahahahahahahaha!!!
aniwaes..
honey, take care of yourself.
i'll see you soon.
enjoy your holiday ok?

hehe..

i love you.

awoosh out! and off for three days..
see ya soon!

AHHHHH!!!!

HONEY!!!!

IM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO

SORRY!!!

aww man!!

hey honey, its wasnt you..

^_^

its something else that was.."givin me a hard time"

im sorry if i walked ahead and faster leaving u alone..
IM really really sorry..

>_<

pls forgive me..


btw honey, if u want..i'll wait for u at woodlands mrt at 12.30pm
thats if..u want..
if you do..
pls call me in the morning to confirm that we're meeting..
then i'll share with u what happened today..

if u dont want then..uhh..
its ok..
i understand..=(


^_^

1444!!

hopes 44142..

^_^

awoosh out..

SOORRYYY!!!!!!

honey..

thank you for making my day by making your day..

O_O..sounds kinda wierd..

i guess its a win-win situation huh?
u brighten up my day..i brighten up yours..

hehe..

thank you honey..

i love you!

______________________________________________


me and honey went to R.p today..
haha..

it was the second time we went there together..
and it was the second time i made her laugh until her stomach hurts.until her heart nearly bursted..
wahahaha..im sorry if i made u laugh so hard..

^_^..i know my singing sucks lah..
but next time dont cry..
or faint for that matter..

=P.. teehee!!

1444!!

____________________________________________

well..me and honey talked about.."missing band"
well..
to me..i will miss band..
but i have to concentrate on 'O's..
sorry guys..
but i will pop by every once in a while to check on things..
^_^

ouh..i know u guys are probably missing ur seniors and thinking that after achievement day they'll be gone for good..

RELAX!!

we're still in school!! hehe..you'll still see us around in school..
so..
chill yeahs?

teehee..

=P


awoosh out!

that dream..

OMG..i dont believe it..
its another one of those dreams again..

ughh..

u know..those extreme ones..

like the one during art camp..

-_-..

aww man..im sorry if im having all these dreams..

guess this shows how much i love u i guess..

^_^

man..


*sigh..i know..

i sound mighty pathetic rite now..

but its no joke..


*sigh..

astagafirullah..

astagafirullah..

astagafirullah..


1444

awoosh out!!

love you.

my heart..

i feel that..
its filled with grief and sorrow..

im actually having this feeling..
from after school onwards..
or after maths lesson rather..
this is very wierd..
even for me..
then honey gave me a strong nudge with her orange file..
which kinda got me abit startled and lost focus on..my grief-thinking..
thanks honey..
but..after assembly..it started again..
*sigh..
but then..no more honey to wake me from my daze..
so..im trapped again..
ugh..

am i actually feeling the pull of stress?
or am i going through another depression..
hope im not..

no time to get depressed now..
argh.. cant wait for the holidays to come..
so that i have time..
to rest..calm down..rejuvinate..and refresh myself..
starting fresh..

*sigh..awoosh..what's the matter..
why are you like this all of a sudden?
aww man..

somebody save me from despair..
i need help..
im spiralling into depression..
slap me or pinch me or something..

wake me up from this horrible nightmare!!!

*sigh..
so down..so blue..so sad..so depressed..

=(..

awoosh off..

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

art camp

daymne fun!!
hahaha..
wow..a whole camp dedicated to our art stuffs..

so..cool..

haha..

well..at night it wasnt..
lol..sick and tired of doin art..
hehe..

honey thought so too..
haha..
well..
so..

she borrowed my ipod and listened to it..
wahaha..come to think of it..she's using my ipod for like..88% of the time.
wow..
hehe..

and by 1a.m we were like..ughh..so bored..
and honey continued painting while i stare at her paint..
coz..i didnt kno what to paint!
-__-..
typical..

soon,2a.m came..haha..
i was constantly drinking water and i guess my friend for the night was the toilet..
i drank alot..i repeat..alot of water..
haha..

then after that some chinese boys awoke and decided to do some exploring..
around the 3rd/4th floor of the school compound..
so..they dragged me along..

haiyoyo..just go lah..

i freakin love thier reactions lah!!.
epic!
they were like..eh fird,u scared anot?
ehh fird..my hair standing sia..u not scared ahh?

i was like..*sigh..
whats to be afraid off?
then i knew that it was the perfect time to give them abit of scare..
haha..
so i took that time to scare the shet out of them..
haha.

then benjamin was like eff u fird!!
heh..sorry ah..

then went back to art room..

hmm..

soon got bored again and then..
ajak honey for a walk along the hallway while we chat..

hmm..pretty different..but..i like..

haha..thanks for the talk!

then blah blah blah..

slept for awhile..and had a dream about honey which was totally wierd!..
extreme giler...

ish..

astaghfirullah..

i guess that's all..
if not my post would be uber long..-_-


trust..without it..what is love..?

rhya meeting 3rd march

lol..well, it wasnt quite a meeting lah..
more of like a chit chat session..

but yeah..
what zack de zest said..
we only see our rhya peeps ince every month..
so..must cherish while they are still here..

haha..well,

X_X..the main highliht of today was what me and 'arifah talked/joked on..
wahahaha..
ouh..btw..

thanks eh 'arifah?
heh..thank you so much for sharing your blessings..
i can still feel it lingering on my cheek..
heh..

thanks for great time lah..
______________________________________________________

hmm..didnt go for the parade rehearsal today..
wonder how it went..
hmm..

hope das didnt screw up..

______________________________________________________

ouh yeah!!! tomoro presenting the harp to mrs raja and im the one addressing!
ouh crud!! where's my script?!

ahhh!!!!!


awoosh out!!

thanks again..

ok..umm..?

okok..so uhh..

today..was..umm..
whats the word..

hmm..

typical?
yeah..
normal?
sort of..

aniwaes..

usual lah..after school..go eat lunch..
with shahrul,zw,das and those dua mambangs..
wahahaha.. klah..adek angkat's..
yeah..

so we chilled at the canteen..
making stupid remarks..
and crackin some senseless jokes..

aniwaes..

hmm..TAF cub today was superb..
haha..totally fun..
never will i miss taf club..
this one nt like last time..run 2.4 km route 2 times..then go off..

BORING

this is like extra p.e lessons..which is so cool lah!!
hehehe.. p.e three times a week..
wow..excellent..

aniwaes..

L.F walk out of the gate too fast..wahahaha..
didnt had the chance to say have fun with her piano theory and goodluck..
i think she's havin a pre-test?
im not sure..
but if she does..then
good luck..i wish u all the best!
GAMBATEH!!

hmm..i dont study piano..
the only place i learn how to play it is youtube..
that's the best place..

hahaha..and its FREE..

hahaa!!

alrites alrites..

i guess that's all for today..

gots to go finish art..
haha..

off i go!!

awoosh out! =P

1444

heh heh heh..

aww man..
im getiing more and more lethargic every day..
not getting too much rest lately..

i WAS supposed to get rest..get rejuvinated during the weekends..
but..
heh..
had to go out with family..

yeah..so lethargic..!!
so tired...

aniwaes..

yesterday,
after band..went to mac with my lovin friend to meet our beloved seniors..
you know, elena and pamela ofcourse..
yeah..

we chatted..and..yeah..had some fun..
just a casual chat session if u were to ask me..

so while they were talking..
i took loving friend's student handbook and read it..
wahahahahaha...

W.O.W..
heh heh heh..
guess i wasnt suppose to read it eh?
wahahha..
oops..

haha..

well, atleast i know..

hehehe..

1444..

hmm..


1444444444444444

wahahahaha..thats more like it..

lol..

aniwaes..


i guess that's all..

haha..
alrite!!

awoosh out!!

hmm..

think.
think.
think..

hmm..im beginning to think that..
im over thinking at times..

hmm..

let me think about that..

wait..

there i go again..

haha..

aniwaes..
a couple of things coarsing through my head right now..
hmm..

the main phrase for this is " find yourself"..
not literally FIND yourself..
but..knowing who you are..

yeah..

i've been thinking long and hard on who i wanna be.

and i will work to the extreme to obtain it..
even if it means stepping out of my comfort zone..
even if it kills me..
i would die knowing i was nearly living my dream..

to my loving friend..
you must believe..
in yourself.and in me..
for us to go far..
im already believing..
dont stop believing now..
^_^
it only has just begun
please..

think positive.

i love you.

awoosh out!

*flushes mind..lets start afresh!!

green + orange = ????

today started out..
hmm..
pretty decent..
i mean..
typical school day..
suddenly..i forgot to do eng homework
*facepalms..

AWW MAN!!

how the hell did i forget that?!
crap..
neh..aniwaes..
finished the homework during eng lesson itself..
and after prayers meet mr star..
yeah..i guess..i kinda sweet talked..
and i got off the hook!!
yessa!

aniwaes..went home with my loving friend there..
and we took a ride one round on 962..
and yeah..we talked..
haha..
i was lookin at her chemistry textbook when i remembered the reaction..
the experiment today..
totally unexpected..
haha..
and we discussed the colour change of the experiment that shocked us both..

apparently..the mixture changes from orange to green..
i repeat.. ORANGE-GREEN..
wahahaha..

totally awesome..so..yeah
otw back home..
my loving friend here..
accidently popped my balloon doggeh..
wahahahha!! aww..it was so cute!!
and we talked to it..

i know i know..lame lah..
yeah..
but hey..its fun..

muahahahaha!!!

alrite..i think thats all from me..


tune in next time!

awoosh out!
i love my loving friend..
green + orange = (place answer here)

WOWZA!!

hey hey!

ouh guess what?

i finished unwrapping all my gifts and i..
i repeat..

I.. LOVE ALL MY GIFTS!!!

to the hoodies,the bears,the bracelets,the necklace,the bags,the keychains,adidas branded jackets,bags,wallets and most importantly the beautifull CARDS..

i love them all!!..

aniwaes..

put aside all those things..and let me talk about today..

well..today was a dream crusher..
hah..i mean seriously..

one teacher has finally given up hope..ON THE 2ND MONTH OF THE YEAR..

astagafirullah! class..u have done it this time..
thanks alot..
not only you've made a teacher gave up on us..
u even shattered the dreams of the other classmates..

hmm..physics..
*sigh..
ms F is not my favourite too..
but..she's all we've got..
for a chance to get through the O together..

like what mr star said..dont waste your money for one stupid paper..
when u fail,ur money is wasted..and its not ur money..its ur parents money,mind you..

i hope u guys buck up..
seriously..


aniwaes..IM SO SO SO SO TIRED!!!
i feel worn out! burn out!! EXHAUSTED!!
im so lethargic!!! -_-..
i need a whole weekend to get better..
-_-..

aww man..

awoosh out!!

my sweet 16.

SWEET!!!
TOTALLY AWESOME!!!
got loads and loads of presents!!
well..that's not important..

what's important is..

I HAD THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVAR!!!

THANKS TO MY BELOVED FAMILY!
AND OFCOURSE MY DEAR 'LOVING FRIEND' and MY BESTEST BEST FRIENDS!!

THANK YOU ALL FOR ATTENDING MY B.DAE PARTY!!

i hope u guys enjoyed urselves..^_^

'arifah- I LOVE THE GREEN HOODIE!!! AAAHHHHH!!!!! OMG!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!!!! thanks for the UBER NICE CARD/frame..
I LOVE IT I LOVE IT SO SO MUCH!! THANK YOU!!! I LOVE YOU TOO!!!

kak ezrieen- KAKAK!! THANK YOU so much FOR COMING!! ^_^ HOPE YOU ENJOYED YOURSELF AT MY BIRTHDAY PARTY!!! COZ i DID..WAHAHAHAHA!! THANK YOU AGAIN!!! ^_^

zhao wei- DUDE!! I seriously love the card!! i love the pics u drew..kinda funny..
i love it alot!! thanks so much dude!!!

Ghaf- THANKS FOR THE COOLEST LOOKIN TIE EVAR DUDE!! i love it so much!!! ^_^ thanks for comin over and celebratin with me man.. i appreciate it loads!!

aman,dada,momo- GUYS!! I LVOE THE APPLE KEYCHAIN!!! ouh and the PHONE POUCH TOO!!! so nice!!! thank you for comin over and spendin a lil time to celebrate my b.dae!! love u guys!!

randolph,shipeng- HEY BRO'S!! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR COMIN TO CELEBRATE MY B.DAE PARTY!! HAHA!! THANK YOU GUYS..THANK YOU SO SO SO SO MUCH!!

weijun- HEY MAN! THANKS FOR TAKING SOME TIME OFF YOUR BUSY TRAINING SCHEDULE for attending my party..i appreciate your presence loads man. THANK YOU!!

azilah- I LOVE THE GREEN BEAR!! OMG!!! WAHAHAHAA!! OUH AND THE BAND.. LOVE IT!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!! WAHAHAHAHA!!!!

aniwaes..

i still wont forget the birthday bash..
lol..good times..good times..
hehehe..
'arifah 'aqilah..
wahahaha.. thank you for..ehemm..
telling me something in the end never tell me anything and got bashed..
i love it..
wahahaha..

AWW MAN!! MASUK MATA!!!!!!! WADDUUUHH!!! SAKIT!!!

wahahaha.. thank you all once again for celebrating my birthday..

AWOOSH..now 16.. SIGNING OFF!!

^_^

GREEN HOODIE!!!! THANKS YOU!!

1444!

strange..

hmm..
i dont know..
i feel like..

there's something wrong about today..

hmm...
well..
i really dont know what it is but..
it sure got me in a twist for words..
i just cant explain it..

=/

aniwaes..

actualy wanna walk home today..
but then she was 'rushing to get home' so i was..
-_-..aww man..
but nevermind lah..

maybe next time awoosh..

aniwaes..i wanted to ask you my "alot" of questions..
today while we went home..
but it seems that something's bothering u again..
aww..man..

*sigh..
ouh well,maybe next time awoosh..

so sat in the bus..
did not utter a single word to her..
guess she was either tired/sleepy/headache/shut up lah awoosh/hmm..

well..it couldnt be the 4th one now would it?

im thinkin it was the 2nd one..
coz i was getting tired too..
for some strange reason..
i felt so tired i even had headache..

-_-..

i wanna..wait no..
i need to..wait no..
i must know what's been bothering you lately..
u need to clear ur mind u know?
stop dwelling on something..

like your book said..
dont dwell on something...and..yeah..i forgot the next part..
O_O..
man..

ouh well..

pls..

talk to me..
the silence i get from you..
it hurts me..
seriously..

awoosh out..

i need time..

OMG..i need time to think.

i need to think deeper..
i jsut need time to find out what actually went wrong..

AWW MAN!!!

what a dumb mistake..
WHAT EXACTLY DID I DO WRONG?!

*sigh..
i just..

i just dont know..

*Sigh..

bloody...

*sigh..

i just need some space to think..

_____________________________________________________


im sorry if i didnt reply u the way i use to..
or speak to you the way im supposed to..


its just that..
my mind was occupied..
i've made stupid dumb mistakes and i was trying to solve them..
and reflect on my stupid actions..

and then..
you..came along..

*sigh..

im sorry..

i just couldnt concentrate on you..
my mind was filled with uneasy thoughts..

its just so..
so..
*sigh..

im sorry if i disappoint you in any way..

please..
forgive me..

awoosh out..

I NEED MORE TIME!..to think..and reflect..

*sigh.. astagafirullah..

worst day evar!!

OMG..

today was like the worst day ever..
-_-

alot of anger here and there..
loads of disappointments around the place..
and *sigh..
cut long story short..

today was a terrible day..

after school,
went to RP with 4..
and..
i feel like somethings buggin her..
i just dont know what it is..

i asked a few questions and no reply..
so..i started to get abit angry lah..
coz u know..
hmm..
so..i said to myself..
fine.. if u dont want to talk to me..i wont talk to you..
so..just kept quiet and walked..

once found a place to do work..
sat down and began work..
pretend to not care where she went to..
*sigh..
while she was gone..
i reflected on what i did..and..tried to figure out what's on her mind..
while doing work..
i kept thinking about her..
and about today..

while i was thinking of her..
suddenly, i heard her voice.."hey are you angry?"
i smiled..looked back and said.. " im fine..nice to hear your voice again.welcome back"

then we went somewhere else and talked..
and talked..and talked..
she voiced out her problems to me..
and i was helping to solve those problems together with her..
^_^
thanks for sharing it all with me..

today ended off great..thanks to the talking session with 4..
^_^

i dont know if u trust me or not..
but i hope to gain your trust.
not at once, but slowly,through time..
any means possible..^_^

and..
those promises i've made..mark my words..
i'll fulfill them..

I PROMISE..

1444..

awoosh out!!

aww..someone's thinkin about me..

hehe..
sweet..

guess its the songs huh?
lol..

yeah.. the songs made me think about u too!..

haha weird i know..
^_^
lol..thanks for sharing the song..
haha..
its really nice..
and u know what?

you are stuck in my mind..
i couldnt think of anything else other than you when u first let me hear the song..
^_^..

shows how much i love you i guess..
^_^..

hope u love me too..

_________________________________________________

yesterday was a blast..despite those minor setbacks..

but yeah it was a great day indeed..

creds to 'arifah for taking the pics..

ouh and speaking of pictures..
OMG..
i was stunned when i heard that..
someone looked at it..

and i was..uhh..
scared? pretty much..

yeah..

ok..

but the best part of the day was the dinner at cavana with u..and the rest..
had the time of my life..
haha..

19-5= 14! woot..

i love you.

awoosh out!

14/2/2010..a day to remember..

thank you for going out with me..

i believed that this was the first time we actually went out the whole day..
just the two of us..

but i bet it would have been much better if das would have come with myrra..
-_-..

but hey..
thanks again for accompanying me for the whole day today..

__________________________________________________________


it started with her letting me read this book..
well..i cant remember the title of it..
but i think its a very good book..
and basically..it summarises all the things that you would do to feel happy and relaxed..
i think..

yeah..

great book..
aniwaes..

made our way to vivo at 10.40a.m..
i know..
early rite?
haha..yeah..
while we were on our way..
we shared stories..
both personal and general..
and it was all sad stroies..
so..i said..
hey,think positive..today is going to be a great day..i promise..

and so..it began..

reach vivo..went to the roof access and took pics..
hehe..
and guess what.. she just took 18 pics then her memory card for her camera was totally full..
i was like -_-|||
OMG!!!..
but anywaes..
she deleted some of the 'un-important' ones..
and the rest was..rather..precious..
to both of us actually..
bought mandarin orange cheesecake..mm yummy..
tried carving our names on it but this time..
it was harder..
coz there was a hole in the middle of the cake..
aww man..
maybe next time lah..

^_^

then prayed at a nearby mosque which is just beside a cemetary..
wont tell u wat happened though..something freaked me and her out..
so after we were bored at vivo..went to harbourfront next..
where we had late lunch together..
after that..
sat at the singapore river and took more pics..

then went to pray at an underground mosque..
ahh love that mosque..
its so quiet..
so peacefull..so nice..
then after that..waited for her to finish her prayers..
then something funny happened..
wont tell u what happened either..
hehe..

so..walked back to the esplanade and then..took last few pics..
^_^
ahh..it was getting late..
for her..
then suddenly..she got cramps..
on her foot..
hehe..
aiyoyoyo..
aniwaes..sat down with her for a few mins..
wow..i felt ur pain man..
wow..im thinking that ur pinch was equivilent to the pain of ur cramp..
haha..
so.. continued a slow walk to the mrt station..
on the mrt she was screamin in pain
lol..then i tried to help lah..
it actually worked..
hehe..what my father thought me in the past actually worked..
^_^

aniwaes..a few stops passed..she started to feel less tense..
im thinking her cramps already subsided..
then she was getting all lethargic and all..
so i offered her my shoulder..
hehe..its the least i could do..
wont elaborate on what happened..
=P

so..when we reached woodlands..
took a bus ride with her back to her house..
not exactly to her house lah but only at the bus stop..

__________________________________________________________

i know you're mad at me..
im sorry..but i want to make sure you get home safe..
because u were all tired and i cant bear to let u off after u had that cramp attack..
sorry i had to defy u just now..
i was just makin sure u get home safe..

^_^ sorry..


aniwaes..she taught me something today..which is..
never leave your prayers..
thank you boo..

i'll keep that in mind..

ouh if this helps..
i remembered one of my uncles lived nearby..so i dropped by and did my maghrib there...
ouh and ishak too..
^_^

im so sorry i defied u earlier.. please forgive me ok?

ouh and the pics rite..
i want!!!..

^_^ hehe..

after today..
i think 14 4 4 much much much much more..
^_^
hope 4414 much much much much more too..

hehe..
had the time of my life today..

thank you..

awoosh out!!!

we'll miss you..

today, marks a day to remember in my life..
and the life of 4..

as we witness..
kak 'atiqah's farewell to pursue her studies in brisbane..

i dont have pictures of the memorable event but yeah..

wow..although she wasnt part of my family..
i felt that she is still part of my life..
and as she walk through those gates..
i could feel this feeling of sadness..
i knew that someone great was going to leave..

all i can say is..what's done is done..
and i wish the very best for kak 'atiqah with her studies..
may u have a safe trip to brisbane
and may u have a pleasent year ahead of u..

______________________________________________________________

so..i witnessed the farewells of kak 'atiqah with 4 just now..
wow..
when u cried i really wanted to be beside u and you know..comfort u..
but i was scared of what ur sister/brother/parents think..
im sorry if i didnt comfort you..*sigh..so pathetic..

but i had a great time meeting ur family membs.
especially ur mom,1st sis ,ur abg aizat(correct me if im wrong) and your grandmother..

hmm..i didnt get the chance to meet ur father though..i only saw him..
we never talked..
but im sure he's a great man..
ur mom is one excellent woman..
lol..i think i saw her smile at me..
then i smiled back..
lol

hah..
so tense!! i mean i nearly had a nervous break down when you said your mom wanted to meet me..but u know what?
at first i was like..ouh crud..
then after that..
i felt..
ok..hehe..
meeting ur family was the best..
ur family not bad..

^_^..

_______________________________________________________

after all the tears..

4 and family went to eat and they went back..
so it leaves me and das..
so we went to catch a movie..
coz we were so bored..

we watched percy jackson and the lightning thief..
so cool..
aniwaes..

gtg now..

taa!

awoosh out..

we'll miss u kak 'atiqah..

RED HOT CHILLI AND TOMATO SAUCE!!

OMG..

u totally blushed just now..
u turned red like tomato..

wow..

1st time u blush infront of me ah..

^_^ hehe..
well, u know wat they say..

first time for everything..

but seriously ah..

i stunned when u told me about the dream..
lol..
and u know what?
i blushed and smiled to myself all the way home when i thought about it..

wow.. you really made me and urself blush now..

hehe..

hmm..

maybe some day..

someday..

i'll do it..

but..

umm..

think

we both would like..

explode in shyness..

hot tomato sauce all over our faces..

wow..

thinking about it is already starting to make me blush..

OMG..

im so pathetic..

-_-..

forgive me..


awoosh out with hot tomato sauce!!!

yessa!!

i managed to make your day!!

woot..

and..

i got pinched for that..

-_-

sorry..
but hey..where's the fun if i dont tease you?
hehe..

=P

its great to see u smile again you know..
after monday and yesterday's moody look u put on ur face..

^_^

1444..

awoosh out..

hey 4..

sorry i couldnt be at my best today..
sorry if i wasnt there with you just now..
sorry if you went home alone..
sorry i couldnt do anything to cheer you up..

i've not been myself lately..
since yesterday..
im suffering from headache and im coughing like mad..
during band just now..

my energy was drained..
i couldnt even lift my head up..
wow..
im so beat..

well, the sweet i gave you was all i have in my attempt to cheer you up..
hope you enjoy it..

well..

i'll not be onlining msn today..

nidda get some rest..

this is just a short post..

awoosh out..

sorry..

like a morning dew that quenches the land
you lifted my spirit and brightened my day
you came into my life and became a friend
you girl,are unique i must say

girl you are the best
always having a little zest
cheer me up you never fail to
then,i'd fall in love with you boo..

carving our names on delicious cheesecake then,
took a vow our hearts will not be broken
good memories i promise,i assure you
then you'd say, yes awoosh, i promise too

i've been in love with you for 4 years
we've been through hardships and shed loads of tears
i feel the love between us growing more and more
when you say 4 4 14 and i say 14 4 4..

love fills the air when im around you
it is divine and priceless too
this poem shows how much i love you
and hope you'd still say you love me too..

i'll make you smile on your darkest moments
giving you the best of my comments
now your heart is with me,and you, with my heart
and nothing can bring,or tear us apart..

take good care of my heart
for i'll take good care of yours

1444,4414
awoosh out..

hey peeps!

today was a dame dame dame dame fun day..

hehe..
it started out dull..
boring..

but then..4 started things off with a smile on her face which never fails to brighten up my day..

then the irony starts..

it started to rain..

-_-..

aww man!! my plans are ruined..i thought to myself..

so..at 4.14p.m(the best time of the day)
it didnt stop raining so we left the school..
and we were drenched in water..
soak to the bone..

4 was shivering..
haha..
cant say i wasnt too..

anywaes..
took one round on the bus around sembawang with 4..
and she told me a couple of stories which had very very very very inspiring moral..

but the best of all was:

that time 4 and aqmal was going home after they took one round around sembawang..
then when they reached infront of canberra primary,aqmal spotted the ice cream man..
so he was hesitating whether to buy or not to buy..

then? whats the moral of the story i asked 4..

she replied: if u go one round around the bus,dont eat ice cream.

i know wat she meant but i decided to make things abit funny..
then..

she laughed so so so so hardly..
poor 4 had stomach ache laughing so hard!!
then, out of nowhere the ice cream man appeared at the window of the bus!
how ironic can that be?
then we both laughed..i mean..she laughed..
coz she told me to shut up..
hehe..
wow
that moral must be the most inspiring quote i've ever heard..

if u dont get the moral..u are not that bright..

aniwaes..this was the best day ever..

and its day 5 of 4-ing 4..

^_^

i 4 you so much 4..

^_^

awoosh out! 1444!!

to 4..

today was "the" time i've had with u..
i mean..
woah..
this is like the 1st time..
we went out together and had fun..

hehe..
ouh and about the cheesecake?
hehe.. hope you enjoyed it..^_^
1444!..

^_^

aniwaes.. had RHYA meeting today..
4 followed me..
and we had loads of fun..
although 4 was kinda..coughing here and there..
go eat cough syrup lah..

aniwaes..

i hope you dont get scolded again like last time..

ouh..and didnt i promise you that today we'll make a great memory?
hehe..^_^..
for me..this was the best day ever..

thank you 4..

^_^

awoosh out! 1444!

14 is still in 4 with 4..
hmm.. 14 will always 44..

haha..

like equation like that eh??
haxhax..

well its a code..
try to figure it out!..

=P

ok so..day two of..4-ing with 4..
and..
i can say that it feels so different..
i mean..
i've never felt this alive before..

wow..

thanks 4!!..

i 4 4 so much!!
ok..im over reacting..
haha..
ok..
relax fird..

if you peeps are wonderin what the hell am i going on about
4 and more 4 and then 14..
well.. like i said..
its for me to know and you to find out!

^_^..

awoosh out!!

off to my art hmwk!!

btw..

amaths rocks!!!

4 rocks as well!! ^_^ <3

to you,

hey you, im sorry for the way i acted. im really sorry if i caused any discomfort..
especially to you, i didnt mean to make you feel guilty. its just that. i feel that my presence in school is un-noticed.i feel like im a lonely ghost.you dont talk to me.sometimes i even wonder do you still love me.coz,you act as if,i dont exist.it really bothers me coz,i dont have the feeling like the feeling when we were in 2007. i feel that i should be the one apologising.

i didnt want this..
i feel so sad now..
i hope i can talk with you soon..
i want to have that time again..
i want those times where it was just me and you walking together..
i want those times..
i want..
i want to..
i just want..

*sigh..

i just want to love you again..

about the 14 questions.
i felt that those were so irrelevant..

(insert your name), i hope/want you would/to still be my listening ear.you are the only one i could go to.no other could understand me better than you do.you've done so much in my life.im grateful to have you . i want to go to you.i would always come back to you. i'll never find nobody treating me the way you do.i'll never find nobody who could love me the way you do.i could never find another like you.you are my one and only.you are special. (insert your name), i'll still love you.no matter what,i still have these feelings in my heart.for you.i wanna change for the better.i trust you more than others.i still do.by meditating,reflecting and praying i have done.to get you in my life once more.i'll feel much more lonely if you leave.please dont.

i hope you still love me.

coz i still love you.

to that orange girl..i respect and care for..

awoosh out..

never again

what's going on in my mind..

whose the one being betrayed here?
whose the one is being left out here?
whose responsible for making me shatter?
whose the one who said you'll be there to listen?
whose the one whose always ignoring?
whose the one that is in pain?
who should i turn to now since you cant be trusted anymore?
how could i tell you?
what can i do to make you feel this pain i feel?
what have i done to deserve this torture?
are you my friend or just pretending?
where can i go to leave this pain behind?
how could i rid this feeling of pain,regret and sorrow?
do i love you anymore?

*sigh..
here's 14 questions for you to answer.

im utterly disappointed..

pain.

i dono who to turn to anymore..
the one that said "i'll be your listening ear"..
its all just lies..
the world's cruel..
hmph..

yeah.. lies..

ignore me..
pls just ignore me more..
i know you dont want to talk let alone look at me..
its no use being "friends" when you dont communicate..

heh..friends..what a funny term to describe you..
some friend..
i depended too much of u..

it was a mistake..
a very big mistake..
i wish i'd never told you..
i wish i would just shut my effin mouth..

but its too late now..
now i suffer..

it gives me a big

FML

*sigh..
this is the last straw..
i just cant take it anymore ok?

dammit..

im sorry zhao wei i had to leave early..i was meeting up with my family membs for something important..

sorry you had to take the shit..
i take the blame coz i didnt fulfill my duties as a leader..
strip me off my post..i dont deserve it..
i suck..
i forgot about the annoucement..
and i just..

you know what? im good for nothing seriously..

fmlfmlfmlfmlfml...

im shattered..

i feel that i've lost my friends..
whose to say i didnt have friends from the start..?

i feel like crying but those tears..
it dried up..

i just cant find any other ways to release this pain..
i just cant take it anymore..


sometimes i think..
why do i even have friends..

and are they my "real friends"?
*sigh..

u guys mean alot to me..
but..it just comes to a point where..
you people lost the friendship.